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Old 12-30-05, 09:54 PM   #1
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
Trying To Find A Balance ft. Atticus

IP:

Atticus - Verse 1
Mentalz - Verse 2, Hook



In Attempts To Acquire Attire Fit For A King
We Go Limp As We Tire From The Pendulum Swing
Desire's Hired To Inquire From Higher Beings
But Tomorrow’s Dire Need's Retire Our Seeds


Rubble cuddles the bleak ash of past,
Stumble; the suns heat thumbs a gasp.
Brash black waves wave as they pass
in haze... Kiss the asphalt one last
time then climb away fast. Here I die.
Pacing fear along a blind curbs high dive
before I drop by... Ill just find what lies
below these hopes as we come to arrive.
Land in the left lane, no breath, still standing.
Dancing centerline as wild wills land thinned.
Hands out wide, down that balance beam
that is the street all I found around was me.
To the left life flew through my fingers,
as the right strikes the way to defy sinners.
And here I jog the odd silence's palace...
Stumbling along the centerline try’n' to find balance.

Time Pauses .. Nothing .. Except For In Times Of Suffering
.. When We Want Shit To Speed Up To Hide The Gluttony ..
Tough To Fight The Fluttery, Jumbled Feelings Deep Within
As Contorted Heaps Of Mumbled 'Bleeps' Signal The End
We Belittle The Men's Frivolous Trends, Hindered By Whims
Until We Scope What Tends To Be Splintered & Censored
Enter The Center, Understand His Vibrant, Inner Most Nomad
Beginners Toast And Gloat Back When They See He's No Man
So Glad, To Finally Find That Balance Intwined And Salvaged
Behind His Callus In What Defines His Talent's Grand Design
I Invoke All The Neglected Rhymes As I Stroke This Hand Of Mine
This Moments Brought To You & Reflected By The Sands Of Time.

In Attempts To Acquire Attire Fit For A King
We Go Limp As We Tire From The Pendulum Swing
Desire's Hired To Inquire From Higher Beings
But Tomorrow’s Dire Need's Retire Our Seeds


Done
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Last edited by Mentalz : 12-30-05 at 10:05 PM.
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Old 12-30-05, 10:03 PM   #2
atti?
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This came out pretty nice. Especially since I still don't even remember writing it. Lol, whatever... Nice job setting this up Mentz.
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Old 12-30-05, 10:26 PM   #3
Mentalz
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Links incoming as soon as im done creating the fuckers.
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Old 12-31-05, 12:17 AM   #4
Mentalz
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

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Old 12-31-05, 12:36 AM   #5
¤ÐÅž¤
leave you rest'n pz's
 
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3 line in the hook doesnt make sense..
other then that its a good hook...
first verse focused to much on repetative singular ryhmes
in the 1st couple bars, then picked up a bit nearing the end..
not very thought provoking thou.. but still decently written.
second verse..atti..your vocab killed your verse.,
ya scheme was um...just not there in some bars...
i got the majority of your direction but it didnt always
connect well....
.
hook was the best part of this...except for line 3
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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!
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Old 12-31-05, 12:54 AM   #6
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Desire's Hired To Inquire From Higher Beings

... Makes sense to me.

Maybe I can elaborate a bit.

Basically what he wants is to find a place for his passion among whom ever may be at the top of the food chain, for example in my verse, verse 2, my concept revolves around an underground MC trying to be heard over mainstream
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Old 12-31-05, 01:01 AM   #7
¤ÐÅž¤
leave you rest'n pz's
 
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higher beings :that wordings usually reserved for godly
characters, not signed rap artists thou...
guess i just wasnt feeling that line...
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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts
what the fuck, was you high..?
did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made
then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...!
.
.
fake fucks..move on...!
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Old 12-31-05, 01:03 AM   #8
Mentalz
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
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Dealing with a mans passion, Higher Beings could just aswell be the utmost respected spot, the end of the line in his pipe dream.

Thanks for the feedback Daz
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Old 12-31-05, 05:41 AM   #9
lumberjack
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still class as higher being hell he goes to restroom and piss and shit like i do no justification for this mistake these artists are not higher beings
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Old 12-31-05, 08:56 PM   #10
Willa
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hook was dope multis really good flow
atty umm cool poetry shit alot of good vocab cool meaning
mentalz alot of multis like usual good flow cant wait un til u do audio
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Old 01-02-06, 08:23 PM   #11
Mentalz
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Thanks for the feed folks. Uppin' for abit more.

Peace.
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Old 01-03-06, 08:12 PM   #12
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Hella feed, appreciate it.....

Uppin.
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Old 01-04-06, 12:46 AM   #13
Germ
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From: Adanac
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this was pretty sweet, both had different styles, which made for a more interesting read....att, came with a more poetic approach, while mentalz had a more flowing, (insert a good word i can't really think of right now) approach, and both combined, made it sweet...the hook was the best, atticus' last bar was orgasmic, and i just overall liked mentalz whole verse, just was well 'balanced' () and maintained a great feel...shit son, my feeds are dope....keep eyes out for my collabs coming out soon,good job
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