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New Jack
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til the day i die
IP: 63F2 4834
til i die,i gotta get mine
i aint talkin coins when i say i flip dimes not talkin saliva when i say i spit rhymes am i wack cause i dont get no post no views same way when i was young no clothes no shoes the hood is the only niggas that know what i go through i gotta get money and fuck these hoes too grew up not responding back if i didnt know you stroking on these broads might leave these hoes bruised b.i.p to the niggas before me nigga think just because they watch the wire they know the bmore story i aint hammer when i make it i aint going to end up broke cause the only way ima choke is if you attach my neck to rope when people say im killing them there not being sarcastic cause im the only nigga that didnt turn being a g to a fashion like a doctor i keep this gangsta shit alive cause they claim its getting old when its the way i survive on these street is starting to look like hell cause the niggas you would expect to go to jail,changed there style up to pharell http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239528 http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=239476 Last edited by wiley d : 01-30-07 at 09:29 PM. |
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 2B95 0529
ill let it slide this tiem but go read a tutorial on how to giv efeed
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New to RV
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IP: E45B F83E
wow
you need alot of work kid basic rhyming, scant vocab and brought nothing original to the table whatsoever and don't get you panties in a twist and think this is some hate reply or something you just need to read more dope shit dropped by better heads and keep writing, only way forward seems you're at a pretty early stage of rhyming, try and play with rhyme schemes, add multies, better imagery, originality, twists and come with some better material that the readers gonna enjoy looking at. lengthen your drops too, cos that 8 bars doesnt let me get into it at all |
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New Jack
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IP: CDAF 49BC
can i get some feed
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Whys That?
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IP: 1BF0 D10A
make it longer and add more detail to your rhymes, its plain simple and on the same level as about 40000 other text writers out there.
if you want to stand out from the crowed make a effort and get original. switch up your rhyme scheme, end line rhymes are weak and wack. No hate, simply advise. stay dropping,learning and elevating. |
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New Jack
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IP: 7EAF 257F
can i get some feed
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