Hmm..very nice..I must say I'm impressed...your unique structure worked out ver well..your flow seemed choppy at places and few words seemed forced...but overall I'm very impressed..since I know this is your second OM ever..this had agreat content..keep it up..

It was an alright drop here hommie. I love the topic more than anything. Your showing your emotions about when you write. Its good to have feelings about what you say and do. Much luv on that. You could have used better vocab, Maybe. It wasnt a big deal at all though. I liked the flow, kinda gave me a nas feel. Even if you dont like him, I do. So thats a complinment, LOL. I liked it over all, it had originality. Good work hommie, keep it up...

return the favor and peep " insecure " in my sig hommie, much appriciated

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yea a very nice spit.:freeman:. its nice to see people doing somthing different on here insted of the same borin shit. I thought the vocab was good in this peice and also the flow of it. like i sed on the other op your style i like a lot, it newish. topic was the best thing for me tho, really liked how ya broght it across. only ya 2nd op and already makein waves. keep it up. 8/9 out of 10

fave line = As my alterative to sleep.. Im writing
The shadows of my face...
... Lit up by the dim lighting
Pre-occupied mind..

yo free nice drop..... the structure u use is good,you cud tell wot the topic was bout,and u had a nice flow.......the thing i like bout ur structure is that u make things stand out like "my eyelids droop" u made it stand out by having it on its own line.........overall nice drop

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dope....i felt this piece....tiredness....good topic...consistant all the way through...
the structure worked well in this peice....flow was good most of the time...one or two points it seemed off a little....good tho....wordplay was good too....and it was a dope OM ....keep droppin...only your 2nd? good....nice work....
7.5/10.....

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<Center><table style=filter:GLOW(color=black)>.:Corrupted Visions:.</table></Center>

^nice topic nice drop man......good piece...i liked the opener flow fell of at times but this was nice with a good strucutre like pen said keep it up man........................

yet agen another sick drop from freeman u jus keep gettin beta and beta keep it up im jealous

Well Free...you got some hot shit here boy...I like the imagery, I could definitely relate..i've felt that way before lots of times..trying to finish up my album..and working on so many projects at once..you really put the feeling into words here...The flow was nice...i followed it easily..it was a decent drop..shit...It was Dope..tha Good Shit too.

Very good! keep droppin em. I love the style you write with, you don't see that much on here.

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Formally known as *Shortay420*

A smile can turn the grayness blue
A smile can say I love you too
A smile can melt any young girls' heart
Then how come your smile still tears me apart?


A wise man once said,"I don't know go ask a woman!"

If at first you don't succeed, cheat, repeat until caught, and then lie!

a piece most people can relate im sure..
flow was good..
good rhyme structure
just pretty well done
liked the last 4 lines or so the most..
wasnt quite as impressed with this as the photo one but still decent stuff

props