Announcer: "and Estrada throws a right... "

Mentalz:
It's was sorta... intuitive... prudent and lucid
A fugitive student makin' moves to improve his
Chances and crew fit, to comply with a lifestyle
To ponder and gaze at winnings in sight now
So he's placed on this fights bout, a hefty piece
So sweaty seats conform to adventure & cease
Lights flare as stares refuse to retreat the heat
As his bounty is claimed as his feet fall to defeat
Strictly the warfare, the poise of reality, see?
As noise of brutality engulfed his mentality's alley.

Announcer: "... AND JOHNSON GOES DOWN!!! HE'S DOWN!!! HE IS DOWN, DOWN, DOWN, Down... Down the home stretch now! Coming down! FLAPPERJACK'S TAKING THE LEAD, CONTINUING TO TAKE... OH NO! Flapperjack is slowng pace, it seems he's somehow injured his leg!"

Mystic Choas
Trapped miserably quick,with no thought as I stumble
Winning not concurring picking flapperjack was a fumble
Death is apparent, as the money owed is over flowing
The horses turn, its the home stretch and im already knowing;
Evacuating early, knowing no money can pay what I owe
Vastly entering my vehicle profile staying low
Arriving at my pad, seeing them lined up outside
I feel the end is near whereas I can no longer outride
The ones that I owe its clear to see that they want me
Pistols smothering my face the taste, rather raun..chy
Not able to equip them with there winnings,as tears appear
Biting down on the tip of the 4/5th I cry the end is here

"OH NO! If he doesn't quit that leg is sure to go! OOOOOH MY!"

*Loud Crack... As the cards hit the table*

Elegiac:
Broken dreams and sickened screams make the house bitter,
The boy sat there staring blank, baptized in backwashed liquor,
His parents constantly bicker.. Cigarette smoke consumes his soul,
With an aura of nicotine swallowing his innocence for control,
He needed a way out, a scapegoat for all of his family issues,
So he dwells at a casino dancing with deranged Jack and his loot,
His peers see him as nobody drifting with scars into black,
He’s bet everything he owns…
…………………….His lucky number 21 is tattooed on his back,
It’s hard for him to accept reality and continues puffing on his cigar,
Because he’s hypnotized by the snake-eyed chief dealing the cards,
Family rejects him.. His responsibility never seems to be up to par,
If you’re lucky you can catch him telling depressing stories at the bar…

“Hit Me…”

He says as he lends a jagged glare to the air,
Shakes his head to greet the black eyed snakes stare.

Atticus:
A blind square dance lands there along
my shallow hands while all along I swallow
hard, heart on my sleeve, instinct in palms...
Roll the somber di and hold my dollars tight,
tonight might be the last time I have two die.
Sweaty finger tips slip, lady luck ready
to jump from my brow down to the levy
of led heavy tears down near the ground.
Hope is none, the rope now lies up around
her shaking neck while my dice breaks lives;
sets at seven, sheds when its opaque skin dies...
And in its place the glare of dueling snake eyes.

............ "I've lost it all"

Ysdat:
pocket change is often strange when im clocking games
rolls of the dice has control of my life i grab hold of the knife
Placing bets on racing sets.. LOOSE?? My face went red
just another 5, trust another time, i must wait here inline
my time will come,anitcipation.. My mind went numb
the horse at full force,win?, if not, my bodys a corpse
finishing 4th,is sinning the course without signifigant cause
tommorrows another day,my sorrow will run away
gambling addiction fluent like a rambling conviction
but as a looser I stand here, handing my pention
89 year old man,hating that Im not commanding inventions
to create the winning placing, instead
.............................broke and hope is what im facing

"... Somebody buy me a drink."


http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=225567
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=225325

lol, this was nice, really liked mentalz and elegiac's verses. the vocabulary in this was amazing and the flow was nice as well. the topic was nice, real creative. overall this was a real ncie piece and entertaining one to read.


rtf in my diary of a mad man topical

__________________

hot shit fellas...........this drop is pure flame, word. to all of rapverses open mic viewers: please wear any and all approved fire retardant protective gear......or get burnt to a crisp in the worst degree. lol fuckers.

keep up the good work my crhymies.

^^^BUMPIN' FOR FEEDBACK!!!

...BOOST THE MUTHAFUCKIN' CRHYME RATE!!!


s.v. the tyrant

__________________

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick Fletcher. I don't drive an Eclipse, they're chickmobiles.

QUESTION: Is it even possible to improve upon perfection???
ANSWER: CRHYME SINDICATE



"I remember this one time I thought I was wrong........but I was mistaken." -Unknown




R.I.P. Jonathan "ONE MAN BAND/TERUMOTO" Nigro. Goodbye brother. God bless the dead. One love.

This site sucks.

__________________
i'm bored.

this was a realli nice peice right here....i loved the idea of a bout nd stuff nd the announcer helped out.....realli nice work from all coz flow was consistently good and multies was hot

9.0/10

I hope you get hit by a fucking truck Oh leaver of Feed.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

Thats the worst fucking feed i've seen in awhile.

__________________
Blow It - Topical

Fuck this site. srsly.

__________________
i'm bored.

We shall up this forever.

up .

C.S is dope and shit along with this piece.

This was a real nice drop people..
i really felt everyones verse. i liked how the narrarator shit was LOL!. it had me ging.
i liked the vocab and emotion/feeling that was used and inputed
nice drop peeps!.
keep em coming

RTF on the links in my sig

shaded grey
and
catching tears

__________________

This was really nice drop i was really feeling it , structure was nice..and both of you had very lovely and very good emotions and feeling going into your drop..both had nice wordplay ..and vocab usuage..and very nice imagery..overall good drop keep it up.

__________________

And both would be reffering to which of the 5 writers involved?