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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-15-05, 05:18 PM
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#1
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The Paragraph President
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"Meaningless Words" ft. The Sinnister
IP: 2372 BC06
Paranoid: Italic
Sinnister: Bold "Meaningless Words" As we vision the horizon, we picture their words Afraid of the lies, yet provoked from fair words Nothing less we see it’s life, Christ has a knife? Not if we fight, so we’d spas a right for delight So we pick a correct way, and then perfect pay People might seem evil, but our dreams are ok Yelling out words, spelling out the wrong decision.. Is the only way, and still not feelin strong visions Capture the facts, rapture the rats and feel it Never portray a lie, make them cry than steal it Yup that’s the way we picture their reality Either tare mentality, or you can share fatality You turn your eyes to me in hope of my decline Pointing your blame as I faltered on that line We saw your slander when you pulled it off the shelf If you want justice you'll point it at yourself We understand, we’re the indestructible people If they retaliate with hate, we state their sequel Cut the line I'm suffocating cannot feel without hope I'm aching Desire lost my heart is racing I feel cursed, am I mistaken? Doomed to walk the path that's chosen belief that pain will ease in time Embrace the icing on the hate, this self-addiction I'm trapped inside Forced to vision my own affliction, through the eyes see diseased reflections Kaleidoscopic death in segments, a second chance at resurrection The high of high's seemed endless the shapeless fear seems ascending Ride the carousel of punishment, blends the ways of dazed emotions And spells I cast seem to ring bells that remain shattered and broken Cards are down a choice needs making look at past or keep on dreaming Pulled the plug till I cease all breathing, now my soul can't stop bleeding Yup that’s the way we picture their reality Either tare mentality, or you can share fatality You turn your eyes to me in hope of my decline Pointing your blame as I faltered on that line We saw your slander when you pulled it off the shelf If you want justice you'll point it at yourself We understand, we’re the indestructible people If they retaliate with hate, we state their sequel On and on we carry on along the road for so long I’ll contemplate about it all, and I’ll still be so wrong Me and my friends, realizing who couldn’t intercept Not to show untitled fear, when it’s hard to except When these bars they project, when the words collect From the head to the neck, vocal cords erect Metaphors deflect, politically challenged verbally correct I swore respect, now I soar with the rest Yup that’s the way we picture their reality Either tare mentality, or you can share fatality In the never-ending circle where The powerless meet There grows a struggle from the burden of sustaining defeat In the face of every coward lies the blindest of hate In the eyes a sharpened image they realize it's too late We understand, we’re the indestructible people If they retaliate with hate, we state their sequel
__________________
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09-15-05, 05:18 PM
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#2
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 2372 BC06
__________________
Last edited by Paranoid : 09-15-05 at 05:24 PM. |
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09-15-05, 05:46 PM
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#3
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
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09-16-05, 04:42 PM
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#4
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
Bump..............................................
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09-18-05, 06:26 PM
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#5
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
Can we please get some feedback,...................
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...184#post2444184 Last edited by TheSinnister : 09-18-05 at 06:41 PM. |
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09-25-05, 12:49 AM
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#6
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
Man this is sleeping..............................
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09-25-05, 03:27 AM
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#7
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: A2CF 2639
lol, this forum isnt like it used to be. fuckin' dead now.
Anyways, feedback: Paranoid: I enjoyed the read and I only saw two problems that stood out to me. One, your vocab seemed lacking to me, could try and up that a bit maybe. & Two, the flow was ok, BUT it could have been alot better. More multies meta's would have been cool. You got your point across, but it didnt jump across, it just walked.  Sin: I felt yours had more flow to it, even if the structure wasnt as good. My favoright lines were: Forced to vision my own affliction, through the eyes see diseased reflections
Kaleidoscopic death in segments, a second chance at resurrection You had decent vocab and multies and the imagery was great. All-in-all: A few things could have been done better, but hey, no one seems to be reading it anyways, right? (lol, jk) Sorry you guys keep getting the cold shoulder, it sucks. I hate that bitch... Anyways, nice collab, AGAIN! Keep that shit up! Peace. -Mentalz
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate  The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-26-05, 05:50 PM
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#8
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
^^^ Thanks For The Feedback Really Appreciated....
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11-03-05, 11:33 PM
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#9
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Under Oath
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IP: 9AF0 1BFA
All feed back will be returned....Thanks..........
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08-28-06, 04:54 PM
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#10
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Under Oath
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IP: F8C0 2149
Anyone Else!??????????????????????????????????????
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08-28-06, 07:14 PM
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#11
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New Jack
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IP: FA36 344E
i liked it i was feeling it and i was thinking about writing something similiar to this title before i even read yours so look out for that
and can you return the favor and give me some feedback on mine heads 2 da sky-wiley d |
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08-29-06, 01:12 AM
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#12
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Under Oath
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IP: F8C0 2149
Yup^^^^^^^ Favor Returned.........................
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