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Old 07-23-04, 02:11 PM   #1
Kizza
New Jack
 
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Posts: 265
From: the city
Deeper than the Ocean

IP:

Deeper than the ocean, hopin', to keep my mind open
I get a feeling like sinking subs sometimes when I try to coping
eloping, from my mindstate to get deeper in my rhymescape
I open the drapes, to reveal my luscious landscape
citizens congregate as I paint a dreamscape
upon this board with my voracious palate

It gets immensly deep when I sleep
because nightmares haunt me
after I've prayed on my knees
dreams about disease, sickness, and police
wakin and screamin cause I fear capture and release
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Old 07-23-04, 02:24 PM   #2
||TekNEks||
New to RB
 
Posts: 46
IP:

NOT TO BAD........really not all that great though....nice emotion...vocab was aiight...nothing to special....good flow at points...overall descent piece......onez
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..::iLLNess~At~All~TimeS::..
<marquee>MoreLess ya Fake in Existants like ADAM being GAY...your just Prone to Swallowing Fruit by the ROOT~/~</marquee>
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Old 07-23-04, 10:53 PM   #3
soultress89
New to RB
 
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From: chicago -west sideeee
IP:

good stuff kept it up!
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Old 07-24-04, 01:09 AM   #4
raw killa
fuck da hataz B.A.M 4 life
 
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Posts: 600
IP:

wuddup kizza i hear ur da leader of da b.a.m. crew its raw killa ruff i think said sumtin bout me good drop yo peep my shit n tell me wut u think keep postin holla back peace
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Old 07-24-04, 01:27 AM   #5
Introspect.
Banned: Cheating
 
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From: Boston
IP:

this is wack and pointless
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Old 07-24-04, 09:09 AM   #6
Cerulean
Light Weight
 
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Posts: 279
From: Munich, Germany
IP:

a lot of your grammar doesn't make any sense.. like you're just throwing in big words to sound clever. oh well, alright i guess. bit short.
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