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View Poll Results: Who won this battle?
Oz. 1 16.67%
Mentalz 5 83.33%
Voters: 6. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 01-09-06, 07:23 PM   #1
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
Mentalz vs Oz.

IP:

Battle Rules:

Topical
16 - 40 Lines
No Crew Votes
No Recycling
No Biting

Topic: Passing Me By

Minimum posts to vote: 20

Check in by: 01-12-06 at 07:23 PM

Must drop verse in 4320 minutes after check in.
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Old 01-09-06, 07:25 PM   #2
System
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
IP:

Oz. has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:25 PM.
 
Old 01-09-06, 07:27 PM   #3
System
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Posts: n/a
IP:

Mentalz has ACCEPTED this battle on 01-09-06 07:27 PM.
 
Old 01-09-06, 07:28 PM   #4
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Good luck man.

I'll prolly use all of the drop time just cos' i've been busy lately and the next few days are going to be hell at work. & I've been sick.
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Crhyme Sindicate

The unexamined life is not worth living.
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Old 01-09-06, 07:38 PM   #5
Stanza.
Please excuse My Sickness
 
Posts: 1,437
IP:

Passing Me By

All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By

The Pain The Horror The Shame and Defeat
I've Given Up On Life Because Life Has Given Up On Me
My Tears of Blood Sorrounding Face of Remorse
My Dreams of Flying Are Dying And Falling Off Course
I Use To Believe That I Could Achieve Anything
But Now I Just Plead For People To Give Me Everything
I Have No Hope Just Like My Money And Home
Its Gone No Longer Free To Roam
Freely And Peacfully But Yet Its Still Amazing
How Hope Seems To be So Hastlty Grazing
And Skinning My Heart To Pearce My Mind
And With The Blood I Wish To Find
Everything That's Missing Inside So Divine
Give Me Thoughts And I'll Research My Crimes
Yeah Life A Burden But My Troubles Are a Bind

All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By

__________________


One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*


 
Old 01-09-06, 07:39 PM   #6
Stanza.
Please excuse My Sickness
 
Posts: 1,437
IP:



Passing Me By

All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By

The Pain The Horror The Shame and Defeat
I've Given Up On Life Because Life Has Given Up On Me
My Tears of Blood Sorrounding Face of Remorse
My Dreams of Flying Are Dying And Falling Off Course
I Use To Believe That I Could Achieve Anything
But Now I Just Plead For People To Give Me Everything
I Have No Hope Just Like My Money And Home
Its Gone No Longer Free To Roam
Freely And Peacfully But Yet Its Still Amazing
How Hope Seems To be So Hastlty Grazing
And Skinning My Heart To Pearce My Mind
And With The Blood I Wish To Find
Everything That's Missing Inside So Divine
Give Me Thoughts And I'll Research My Crimes
Yeah Life A Burden But My Troubles Are a Bind

All I Do Is Sit and Cry, As I Watch My Life Pass Me By

Giddy Luck Big Man
__________________


One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*


 
Old 01-09-06, 07:56 PM   #7
Stanza.
Please excuse My Sickness
 
Posts: 1,437
IP:

....................Oh YEah Goodluck To Dog

That Came off teh dmoe bcuz i prolly wont be back on none this week either with school and church and all that so yeahh \


Goodlukcy
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One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*


 
Old 01-10-06, 01:42 AM   #8
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

.:Passing me by:.
To little, To late


Present Day
In purgatory, the old man sat, reflecting on his life's past
.. Seconds, minutes, moments passed his last chance ..
Can't forecast a future of passion when you don't strive
So he remained abeyent all the while is mind nose dived

55 Years Earlier
.. He sits at twenty, his mind rippin' on the street corner ..
On about his noise n' keeps his beat former, poise proper ..
The party stopper, can keep a crowd goin' as he's flowin'
All the while knowin' what God gave him, what he's got goin'
.. For him, his talent is his fortune & he knows his motives
But he can't escape his motions & remains in psychosis
Deranged, lost in commotion and yet he's chosen unspoken
Verily he's broken, but he wont know it for some years past
Until the tears crash and splash upon his youth's aftermath
The after clap, of how he lacked motivation will finally seep
.. To infest his inner thoughts and creep deep into his sleep ..

Narration
So many have it, they're gifted but never tap that mental keg
And so they hobble for some cause as their dreams fade away
As shades of gray .. until they're invisible to all but individuals
Who know deep inside, they had potential windows n' credentials
__________________
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Crhyme Sindicate

The unexamined life is not worth living.
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Old 01-10-06, 02:02 AM   #9
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

.:Passing me by:.
To little, To late


Present Day
In purgatory, the old man sat, reflecting on his life's past
.. Seconds, minutes, moments passed his last chance ..
Can't forecast a future of passion when you don't strive
So he remained abeyent all the while is mind nose dived

55 Years Earlier
.. He sits at twenty, his mind rippin' on the street corner ..
On about his noise n' keeps his beat former, poise proper ..
The party stopper, can keep a crowd goin' as he's flowin'
All the while knowin' what God gave him, what he's got goin'
.. For him, his talent is his fortune & he knows his motives
But he can't escape his motions & remains in psychosis
Deranged, lost in commotion and yet he's chosen unspoken
Verily he's broken, but he wont know it for some years past
Until the tears crash and splash upon his youth's aftermath
The after clap, of how he lacked motivation will finally seep
.. To infest his inner thoughts and creep deep into his sleep ..

Narration
So many have it, they're gifted but never tap that mental keg
And so they hobble for some cause as their dreams fade away
As shades of gray .. until they're invisible to all but individuals
Who know deep inside, they had potential windows n' credentials
__________________
Blow It - Topical

-=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate

The unexamined life is not worth living.
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Old 01-10-06, 02:02 AM   #10
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Im hella retarded and posted it in the normal quick reply by mistake first.
__________________
Blow It - Topical

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Crhyme Sindicate

The unexamined life is not worth living.
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Old 01-10-06, 01:51 PM   #11
sabre
tooth tiger
 
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Posts: 575
From: the furnace
IP:

Voted For: Mentalz

v/mentalz

i think oz. didn't really go too much indepth with his, it was easy, and he basically just grazed on the topic....focused too much on rhyming it. mentalz came here with a vivid story of a guy who let it all slip away from him, and i really liked it, even though it should've been longer, well, it seemed like it easily could've, but yeah, mentalz definately came with a nice piece here, good job to both

rtf on this with an explained vote please
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=219121

v/mentalz
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cause thats how e-style does it, we got power and skill
you vultures don't realize you feeding off our fuckin' kill
 
Old 01-10-06, 03:10 PM   #12
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Thanks bro, gona peep it now. Appreciate the feed and explanation. Oh and the vote.
__________________
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The unexamined life is not worth living.
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Old 01-11-06, 08:50 AM   #13
Critic
Black Poet
 
Posts: 1,474
From: London
IP:

Voted For: Mentalz

Best topical battle I have peeped in a while both come
really dope, both using two different styles.

Mentalz ~ really nice writing fams, your verse was the
more complex. You had a very good use of vocab and
the flow was on point.

I liked the way you broke the verse up and the whole
concept of the verse. Trying to make people realise that
if you don't do nothing now you will just regret it in the
future.

Oz totally different concept to Mental and the style of
writing to. You verse was more fluid with great flowless
flow a very enjoyable read. The creativeness in the
story was great.

The reason I went for Mental was because I felt that
his verse was more complex, and a very solid drop. Oz
I think if you droped the same amount of lines u would
have taken this.

Stay up both and keep writing very enjoyable battle

1~
 
Old 01-11-06, 04:34 PM   #14
Stanza.
Please excuse My Sickness
 
Posts: 1,437
IP:

Yeah I Gotta Admit Man Your Lines are more complex than mines but my Plot is better than yours i think

We Need to Collab Sometime dog what do you say?
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One Love

*Bridging The Rap*

Stanza Productions *Dem City Boys*


 
Old 01-16-06, 10:33 AM   #15
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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Posts: 885
From: The Write Side of The Brain
IP:

Yea, hit me up. Uppin' the battle for feed or votes.
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The unexamined life is not worth living.
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