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Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio ![]() |
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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Tears Of Ink
IP:
Shedding Tears While My Tortured Emotions Get Twisted
Coroding My Visions Ever Since My Life's Devotion Evicted The Shear Agony Of Constricting Due To The Fear Stabbin Me I'm A Mear Apothy Of A Dim Light Floating From Near Gravity Shadows Dwell In My Vaines As My Eyelids Close To A Fade Supposed To Be Brave But Lonelyless Brings Me Close In A Grave Followed By A Shadow Of Burdains For The Connection Was Lost Paddlin A Shallow, Rapid River Ever Since Our Affection Was Tossed Feelings Swirling, Twirled In A Hurrican Of Converted Emotions Burdained And Curvin To A Asserted Destiny Of Detiriorated Devotion For The Moon Reflects In My Sight, While I Soon Eject From A Flight High, In A Passion, Reset In A Fight To Detect The Love As The Might In A Everlasting Journey, I'm Set In The Truth Of The Situation Clowds Gather In My Toughts To Bring Rain Of Insicurity And Accusations For I'm Built Strong, Heart Pounding When I Hear That Voice Like A Bird's Song, Chirpin, Workin To Regain The Feel Of Rejoice So I Drop Tears Of Ink As The Days Grow Old And Wither With Time A Sinner For Love, Lost In The Midst Of Emotion... ......While My Thoughts Drift Behind. http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2665111 Last edited by T. Skillz : 02-20-06 at 10:30 PM. |
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.:Certified Mystique:.
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IP:
D
O P E DOPE....9.9/10...It wouldve been a ten outta ten but i think 9.9 lookz cooler...lol...Everything was there, Vocab was great, Multies were there flow was on point structure wasnt TOO off but it was off a little bit but nothing major...Overrall a great piece, im feelin it man..keep it up...word...1 |
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.:Certified Mystique:.
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IP:
Cmon ppl this is a dope ass piece, ya'll need to start leaving feed on it!!!!!...word...1
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
lol, thanks for the feedback homie........
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Not_Indeph
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IP:
Supposed To Be Brave But Lonelyless Brings Me Close In A Grave
Lol @ how ill this was, makes me wanna close this out of anger. You had good vocab and a multi rhyme scheme with lines that actually made sense. Veeeeeery MC like. I loved it freal. Nice shit, mines was better though btw. Join the council, seriously. |
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
lol, thanks for the feedback homie, yo hit me up on aim or msn.......and you need to stay quiet, don't feed lies to these kids by tellin them yours was better
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Not_Indeph
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IP:
*deletes thread*
Time to figure out who's the boss around here, chump. |
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
lmao........*punches indepth how earlier had the name gay*
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Light Weight
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IP:
hey braw it was on point if i was actually into it i would give it a 9/10 but it didn't really spark my flame but there was some hot verses theat set the trck on fire keep it up and i'll see you on mtv 2 hommie
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
lol, aight homie........thanks for the feedback
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Ill Nigga Alert.
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IP:
It was good an shit. Vocab was good an shit. Verse was good an shit. Was on point an shit. 8/10 an shit.
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
and shit.......lol....thanks for the feedback homie...
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Light Weight
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IP:
I thought this was good...
The only downfall may have been your complexity. I felt that it may have been almost too complex and I found myself getting lost or having to re-read a line or two. The internals and flow were great, like they usually are when you write, I was feeling the ending most: So I Drop Tears Of Ink As The Days Grow Old And Wither With Time A Sinner For Love, Lost In The Midst Of Emotion... ......While My Thoughts Drift Behind. ^by far your best lines... also, dont capitalize every single word, its annoying like balls... good work on this piece though. http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=222930
__________________
Was he robbed of the ashphalt that cushioned his face? |
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Oye...Tu Sabes..!!
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IP:
thanks for the feed homie.................
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