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Old 01-15-04, 08:41 PM   #1
Blend
All Ur Wins R Blong To Me
 
Posts: 450
Joined: Dec 2003
Status: Offline
Text Record: 10-5
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
my thoughts

IP: 2A83 F7CE

need to get some stuff out of me

I'm feeling depressed, feeling kinda lonely,
Don't know a person out there who cares for me
looking for an escape, searching for a way out,
can't kill the pain, All I can do is shout
Life's getting harder and harder each day,
My emotions are a collage, how i feel, I can't say
I think this is rock bottom, It's only up from here,
But the way i feel the definition of better doesnt come near
Is there a reason to live on, or has my time come?
When you add up the reasons to see tomorrow 0 is the sum
I live looking for the comfot that will come with the rising sun,
But I never find it, by the time I do, my life will be done
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I have like a ton of votes on this but the fag I'm against doesn't want to loose so he keeps reporting them as d/r's or something so I'm down to 2. So just give me back my rightful votes.

Blend Vs. Kasper
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Old 01-15-04, 08:49 PM   #2
High Class
A King Missing a Queen...
 
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Posts: 1,573
Joined: Nov 2003
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IP: 8D7B 43DF

It was an alright verse. Just a little simplitic thats all. Maybe work on your structure and stretch those lines out. You showed alot of potential for poetry, just cause I felt the emotion from a couple of those lines. And no dought, better to let shit down in words. Than go out and do something destructive. Just elevate your wordplay, structure, and add a little zing to it as I say j/p... Aight drop hommie, keep elevating...

( Please return the favor and peep the open mic link in my sig. I took time to look at yours and all, so please take time to look at mine, it would be much appriciated hommie )
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