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Old 01-28-04, 12:59 AM   #1
High Class
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" My Thoughts Pt.2 "

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This was a pretty fast write, just some shit im feeling... Enjoy...



My Thoughts Pt.2
This tune of mine... I cant hum it, my soul dropped from its summit
The life thats been given to me... I plummit, now that you hung it
Once life had a meaning, but when you left dark coverd my gleaming
A hole has been left in my heart and soul, last traces are steaming
Im reading the bible, and the scriptures with my soul are anything but bridle
Religion crawled out my mind, As satan has moved in with suicidle
Im an idol of my own, where I catch static and havoc... but yet peaceful
My patients is elastic at times, but when stretched to far its leathel
Im addict of pain, its attracted and I always seem to keep it active
World seeming to be passive, but in reality im leaving myself captive
My good thoughts turn to bad thoughts, and no plots create plots
One hobbie of mine gets recognition, as the other can only stack cops
Im locked in my own room, where there is no stocks with a life line
There is no opening to my tunnle, now that I dround in my pipe line
There is no such thing as a right mind, cause im left on the wrong side
I guess it started when my first love left, and friends lost in a drive by
My brain grasps onto huge secrets, and my shoulders soon wont heave it
The flow of my life has been horrible latley, and my good is getting sea sick....




So what do you guys think, this wasnt supposed to be perfect...
Just going through alot of shit, and needed to filter it out...
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Old 01-28-04, 01:22 AM   #2
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Content. . I Was Feeling It Man, Forreal. . Overall, This Shit Was Nice. . Flow Was On-Point, Vocab Was Real Good. . Loved The Multi's In This Piece, Made The Flow That Much Better. . I Can Tell You're Going Through Alot Of Shit Man, You Can Get Through It. . Use Writing Like This As Your Gateway. . Dope Stuff, Pz.

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Old 01-28-04, 01:34 AM   #3
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Hmm..Nice..I liked tha multies in it
Could of had better vocab.. but thats not important
You had good concepts..pretty deep
Liked tha wordplay in some parts
So all in all..a pretty good read....props
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Old 01-28-04, 01:38 AM   #4
High Class
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Much appriciated from both of you... Thanks for returning the favors, and giving me the honest opinions... Tear em up Wise ways, lol... Holla at me if you ever want a collab. I will come out alot stronger if we do that shit ...
thanks again...

^UPPIN^
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Old 01-28-04, 12:09 PM   #5
High Class
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Why is everyone sleeping on this shit... ^ UPPIN ^
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Old 01-28-04, 12:20 PM   #6
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Aiight...the fact that you went into the soul to verse this one out is on point. You got grounds to be considered. It takes the real to spit the real. Even if its a free-verse. Keep doing it. Oh...try and keep your focus next time so it dont travel as much...but you now that I think about it (since you mentioned the Bible) the Lord said those in the Kingdom speak like the wind (back and forth...back and forth)...hahahaha....if no one has ever told you...hahaha. Do what you do!!
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Old 01-28-04, 01:29 PM   #7
High Class
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^ Thanks for a good opinion ^

UPPIN
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Old 01-28-04, 09:23 PM   #8
High Class
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UPPIN
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Old 01-29-04, 06:00 PM   #9
rule
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Great emotion in this...you gripped the reader easily on this...the concept was very good...you had some very interesting imagery and detail..your structure flow and all that non sence was good...your vocab was very good i thought...for the descriptions you used you had some very creative lines...and for that..you picked the right words i thought for instance this line...

Religion crawled out my mind, As satan has moved in with suicidle
Im an idol of my own, where I catch static and havoc... but yet peaceful-HC

My patients is elastic at times, but when stretched to far its leathel
Im addict of pain, its attracted and I always seem to keep it active
World seeming to be passive, but in reality im leaving myself captive-HC

Very goods lines i felt you detailed the description on emotion very well there

Keep up the good work man...peace
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Old 01-29-04, 07:39 PM   #10
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Yo i was feeling this....good shit.....flow was very consistent an smooth...

My patients is elastic at times, but when stretched to far its leathel
Im addict of pain, its attracted and I always seem to keep it active
World seeming to be passive, but in reality im leaving myself captive

Ill shit right there man....very nice.....i enjoyed reading this drop an i can see where you come from on this....people are always at their best when the emotions are running at the time an this showed it....good shit dawg an keep it up.
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Old 01-31-04, 12:18 PM   #11
High Class
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^ Thanks for the Love and feedback hommies ^

UPPIN
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CRHYME SINDICATE

Open Mic Drops
-Defying The Odds-

Higher Thinking League
Record 2-0

High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match)


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