Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
03-18-05, 11:09 PM | #1 | |||
Classic
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Against Me
IP: 28AD 5545
Credit for anything I do not recieve.
Anything I achieve you deny with disbelief. Never good enough, never satisfied. Always so tough, I'm unidentified. No place to belong, you reject me constantly. No face all along, you forget me willingly. Cry I cannot, too many tears shed on you. Sighs I've got for too many things you won't do. Understand? Never it's got to be your way or no other. Banned forever. Ever let me stay me? Please consider. I carry a world on my shoulders. The world I want to show ya. Look past me now, everything's getthing older. Blink through me and you will never see, How I truly feel - with you against me.
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03-18-05, 11:47 PM | #2 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 64A0 EA20
yo yo i got a piece id like ta share wit you i lovrd readin this lots of emotion in this an it was a tight piece to fit that kinda stuff into ,,,...............holla CB83 9/10
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PAYBAKS A BITCH http://tinypic.com/20gzvm |
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03-19-05, 06:12 AM | #3 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: F396 2771
I really loved reading this poem, it had like these different levels in it that make you stand still here and there.
The emotion was very strong, had a a somewhat sad and yet so powerful, strong vibe over it. Bit agressive at times even, like keeping your head up high when everyone else would keep it down (don't know if this made sense but you know what I mean lol) The vocab was very good, you had a nice balance between basic and complex, it was suited for the content of your piece. I like your writing style a lot, at first sight it might seem a bit simple but in reality, there are more levels and more content in your poem. Keep it up girl! DQ
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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03-19-05, 06:49 AM | #4 | |||
Classic
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IP: 3240 794D
thx fo da feed everybody
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03-22-05, 06:27 PM | #5 | |||
Classic
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IP: 3240 794D
upppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn
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03-22-05, 07:39 PM | #6 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: B0DE 12CA
shit i thought it wuz xcellent...i could "dedicate" it 2 a few ppl...but n all it had good emotion n erything...keep doin wutchu do ma
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03-23-05, 07:11 PM | #7 | |||||
Gone
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IP: D890 FA2C
Thiss Wass A Good Piece Because I Wrote That Shit For Her She Juss Switched Up So Thanks For All The Honest Feed Yall Lol But Naw Good Shit Tho Im Sorry If I Made You Feel Thiss Way Inside Why Didn't You Tell Me Straight Up I Don't Appreciate You Bringing Me All The Way On National Internet And Play Me Like Thiss Girl!!! Wait Till We Get Home You Movin Ya Ass Back To Ya Moms House Lmao Thass That Jerry Springer Shit.............
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"I'll Stay Asleep As Long As I Can Have You Right Here In My Dreams'' -R.Kelly |
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03-23-05, 07:26 PM | #8 | ||||
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IP: 8A17 F701
nice one fo real..........but i would like to see a lil more deepness with this one.......something i learned is that the deeper you go the better it gets for the reader......oh and try to use some metas........they alwase get madd props!........good peace 7/10........Peayces
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