Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
04-24-05, 05:06 PM | #1 | |||||
Flyweight
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The Nigga Mentality/In A Picture Frame
IP: 47F7 0494
You may have seen me post these on RB as well, got Open Mic Hall of Fame on both.
The nigga mentality, it is a fatality, powered by evil intentions A sad reality based on fallacies, sustained by mental inventions Placed in poverty, from birth niggas are forced to carry Atlean loads Stress magnifying conflict from fistfights to puttin' gats in ur nodes Niggas in suspension, they can't move forward in the social order It's a very rare nigga with a passport to breach the mental border Hearing money, hoes, and drugs on the radio, it kills their radience Voice of reason going deaf to ears like a steadily falling cadence Here's a story about a nigga, name of Nigga, his life and times Who fell victim throughout the years to other people's crimes So pay good attention, all, and listen closely for what's really true This message was brought to your home by a nigga near you He was born on a stormy night, sometime in the late 17th Century In the home of the nigger world's most unforgiving penitentiary Slavery was skyrocketing, becoming popular all over the globe Using Africans dressed from warrior's gowns to philosopher's robes Slave traders saw no difference, to them, Africans were all the same So they slapped on the nigger label, 'cause every tool needs a name And then the game elevated, and slaves were a necessity for life The black man was married to servitude, divorced by law to his wife Beginning in the 18th Century, Nigga began learning how to walk Starting to breach the opression, teaching himself to write and talk It was the rise of the nigger soldiers, fighting an impossible battle Intervening, some hand of fate created nigga bulls from the cattle The emergence of heros like Frederick Douglas and Harriet Tubman Nigga actually took a step here in escaping the slavery gunmen The stupid fool started remembering where it was he came from And for Nigga, life again began to move to the beat of the drum And in the 19th Century, Nigga was facing a new kind of struggle Forced to fight for their former enslavers, in a new kind of trouble They fought the Civil War, but they had no animosity for one another Still made to capture Southern states, killing son, father, and mother And they were the best of the best, Buffalo Soldiers, strong and loyal Spilling more blood in their rampage than had ever touched the soil But when it was all said and done, and the North conquered the war They still found ways to keep nigga uneducated, oppressed and poor Then the 20th Century, the age of the world's best freedom fighters Nigga jobs ranging from poets and musicians to scientists and writers Activists, fighting without their fists, Martin Luther King and Malcolm X Securing the lives of future niggas, ensuring what was to come next Lynch mobs, riots, Nigga sat in the back of the bus, treated dirty Couldn't even get a drink from clean water fountains when thirsty But it seemed a righteous attempt, paving the way for all the rest For Nigga striving to be strong, to be recognized as one of the best His life is still complicated, difficult, painful, in his eyes he's destitute And miraculously he managed to keep alive, searching for his route It seems Nigga will not give up his search for identity, too much pride Here Lies Nigga 1619 - ??? YOU DECIDE ================================================== === They go through their lives mechanically, trying to forget the past Only the car reflects their hidden emotion, it's too loud, it's too fast The pain lies deep inside, something they've supressed out of need Unbeknownst to the fact they're starving emotion that needs to feed Every time they walk past the table, they can't bring themselves to look It seemed like yesterday Johnny was curled on the floor with a book All the drugs they took, the therapy, knowing nothing was working "It's not denial, you arrogant bastard! Can't you see I'm just hurting?!?" No more flirting with the idea of letting him travel up to school alone No more affectionate rolling eyes when he spilled ice cream from his cone No more will they wake his lazy behind up out of the bed, acting mad When all they really felt was love for him, through the good and the bad And when the doubt set in, oooh, it was terrible, were they good enough? Keeping him from all the bad things, teaching him how life can be tough "Why didn't we know he would go? Why didn't we warn him?" they wept "Why didn't we teach him more about life with the time we had left?" They saw the car turning, it's engine burning, saw the owner was drunk Saw their son get hit, flip bodily over, saw him fall down on the trunk Saw his delicate frame hit the floor hard, violently striking hot cement Rolled and lied sprawled-eagled in the middle of the road, his body bent And just like that, Johnny was gone, and back to their present Hell Where they only remembered his joy from having his first painting sell Johnny was their life, their entire being, now just imagine their pain When the only Johnny they had was on the table, in a picture frame Last edited by Hemz : 05-01-05 at 12:56 AM. |
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04-24-05, 05:57 PM | #2 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=187626
And uppin this. Please leave feedback and really consider my pieces. |
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04-24-05, 07:17 PM | #3 | ||||||
Bow Chicka Bow Wow
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IP: FEFC E273
what can i say man, they dope. good imagery, vocab, structure, everything
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04-25-05, 01:04 AM | #4 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Thanks man, uppin this again.
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04-25-05, 08:53 PM | #5 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Uppin... This OM forum is too inactive.
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04-27-05, 02:39 PM | #6 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Wow... This is wack, yo.
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05-01-05, 12:08 AM | #7 | ||||
New to RV
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IP: C7D5 6250
The Nigga Mentality -
yo my history teachers woulda loved this. shoulda wrote it sooner so i coulda jacked it and called it my own. But in all seriousness, this was badass. You can usually tell from the opener whether its gunna be a boring read or a nice peice, cus ya wanna captivate the audience with the beginning.. and you did an awesome job with that. I usually aint into long pieces, but I found myself reading this all the way through - the flow was on point for the most part, the 3rd paragraph was a little choppy at times, but it didnt take away from the message. Unique story as well - basically summed up the entire history behind the black man while intertwining your own point of view.. it was a really deep message, and even though I cant relate as well as others can, I still got alot out of it - especially liked the ending - it's not your regular closer .. in fact it didnt really have an end, you had a unique way of interacting us into this story at the end .. the way i took it as the "you decide" is how we take this message and our past history and what we've learned from it .. and how we're gunna apply it now.. how are we gunna make the difference? it was tight. fav lines: Hearing money, hoes, and drugs on the radio, it kills their radience Voice of reason going deaf to ears like a steadily falling cadence ^ Prolly dopest line Slave traders saw no difference, to them, Africans were all the same So they slapped on the nigger label, 'cause every tool needs a name ^ thats nice.. you made them become a 'thing' rather than be a human. Nice shit man, really enjoyed the read. -------------- In A Picture Frame - Damn. what a followup of the first piece. i really got into this, two totally seperate stories and both very well written. this was fulla imagery and imagination, and had alot of great vocab. While i was reading this, i got flashbacks of the COPS tv show, especially when i read the line where you went into detail of the little boy sprawled out on the street.. and was by far one of your best lines in the story. I also liked how you chose to name this character Johnny, even though its one of the most commonly used names in pieces, i felt like he was unique and set apart from the rest.. i caught myself reading through it really fast, trying to find out what happened next, then i went back and payed attention to the real story.. and thats when i caught the unique ending. I was tryin to figure out how you could have possibly come up with that title and how it fit, then you tied it all in nicely with the closer.. It was sad, but had a really great message. You have real talent man, keep it up.. im suprised this is getting slept on as much as it is.
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what? yeah bitch. |
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05-01-05, 01:00 AM | #8 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Thanks for the feedback, man.
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05-01-05, 11:18 AM | #9 | ||||
Do.Pe
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IP: F302 F64E
damn yo. that shit was deep.
i dont know what to say but that was dope as fuck. props.
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..The League..
.Word. |
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05-01-05, 11:20 AM | #10 | ||||
Do.Pe
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IP: F302 F64E
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..The League..
.Word. |
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05-06-05, 06:59 PM | #11 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Uppin again....
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05-07-05, 09:35 AM | #12 | |||||
Flyweight
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IP: 47F7 0494
Uppin once again...
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05-12-05, 07:15 PM | #13 | ||||||||
Geaux Fuck Yourself
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IP: B3E3 2C43
Enjoyed them both... 9/10 on both. very good... everything I can say has been said.
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King of Missouri I Fucked Mack's Mom. And I Liked It. -[p-S-a]- 2003-2009 Quote:
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