Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-25-05, 09:26 AM | #1 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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Mother Earth's Fury
IP: C9A2 1C80
Mother Earth's Fury Staring out of window covered by tiny raindrops falling from sky Thirsty flowers absorbing their water supply as dark clouds cry Greenest grass reviving … print my footsteps in the wet fertile soil Glistening rain as protection foil, so much beauty I wish not to spoil Soaked brownish locks clinging to my skin as I now start to spin Silently watching mystery of nature, waiting for blossom to begin When suddenly I feel moist lips on my neck, blending in with rain Lost in the moment, going insane as blood rushes through my vein . . . Holding each other tightly as the rain gradually converts to snow Phenomenon landscape has to undergo, creating pure white glow Dribbling flakes hiding nature’s glory, turning cruel world to heaven We fall down, start to roll around like back in day we were eleven So playfully teasing in this winter wonderland we learned to adore Laying in innocence’s core for these crystal acres we’ve explored So many times before yet still enthralled by beauty of Mother Earth The almighty giver of birth whose majesty we humans aren’t worth . . . But then she displays unbearable fury as clouds start to thicken Falling at an atrocious pace, causing us to be grievously stricken Thrown around by ravaging wind, seeking for him as I get blinded Helpless victim of our own planet, of our mortality we are reminded Salty tears mixing with rain and snow, ruining this idyllic scene Once oh so serene sight changed to a demolition I’ve never seen Floods of a dangerous blend streaming down from heaven's gates Destroying a love without one trace, steering our inescapable fates
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-25-05, 09:28 AM | #2 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-25-05, 04:53 PM | #3 | |||
1926
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IP: 28AD 5545
Wooooooow, That Was Beautiful...
The Emotion And Imagery Were Both Amazing... You Had Everything Else Too But The Those Were Beyond Rv... I Love Your Style Of Writing... You Have The Skill To Write And Comete With The Men... Yet You Somehow Have This Femininity About Your Writing... You Write The Way A Woman WOULD See Something... I Dont Meen To Be Sexist... But Its Just There, Its Not Bad... You Put A Womans Essence Into Ever Word... It Really Is Truely Unique And Amazing... Stay Up Fem... .One. |
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05-25-05, 04:57 PM | #4 | |||
Get Stomped.
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IP: 2D1D 693F
yeah this was a dope drop i pictured every line good vocab and flow dope drop keep doin ya thang girl and return tha favour on one of tha links in my sig
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It's Murdah now, not murder. |
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05-25-05, 05:02 PM | #5 | ||||
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
This was ahot drop...i was really feeling it
Structure was on point.. Feeling adnd emotions.. Were on point... You had nice imagery.. i was really feeling this Peice.. it was amazing ... you had nice wordplay and vocab i liked your style of written , This was a very good job from a women , not to be sexist but it was good , and im feeling it Nice drop ma , keep it up
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The Competition
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05-25-05, 05:15 PM | #6 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 47A6 5A95
Whoa, thanks for all the feed...I will return it tomorrow!
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-26-05, 11:29 AM | #7 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 0863 A6B6
*bounces in*
Bumpity Bump Bump *bounces out*
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-26-05, 01:10 PM | #9 | ||||
leave you rest'n pz's
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IP: 1C7B 52FE
nice ending, i liked the majority of the piece
i felt the wording was a bit off in parts n it didnt quite deliver your content to its fullest but i only found this in a couple bars gurl... this was quite the piece, good length... vocab was there, but i only got one queery did you mean phenominal landscape..? its just phenomenon didnt quite flow properly in my opinion.....stay up drama..[thumbsup]
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i'll play on ya consience, ya contents is complete nonsense
speak of biting, then you fucks flip everyone of my damn concepts what the fuck, was you high..? did you think i wouldn't recognize lines that i made then you come up some bullshit tryna prove that im gay...! . . fake fucks..move on...! |
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05-26-05, 01:33 PM | #10 | |||||
Cus I Jus Ma$fit Dis Shit
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IP: 964F D870
dis is whats up...real talk right here...pictured all bars and it kept me interested...i knew dis was fiya when i saw u wrote it (not to seem like im a "pussy/titty rider" but its true, lol)...stay up ma and do what u do how u do it when u do it and be what u are when u are and how u are...*random*...9/10...real talk
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Ma$fit |
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05-26-05, 03:43 PM | #11 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: 0863 A6B6
Thanks for feed people! I will return favor as soon as possible...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-27-05, 02:03 AM | #12 | ||||||
my alliance is with ganja
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IP: F61B A518
nice nice nice super fucking dope never knew what all the calamoring over ya skillz was your pretty ogood
rtf
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proud owner of a 47 inch cock
-[p-S-a]- 2003-2009 Quote:
Quote:
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05-27-05, 11:22 AM | #13 | ||||
Odi et Amo
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IP: C9A2 1C80
Thanks for feed...
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Authentik Intelligence ...The future is mine... |
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05-27-05, 11:32 AM | #14 | ||||||
this time, lets just pretend ur as good as me...
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IP: 928B 1485
I like this peice...this is slick yo...like rockin pimp suits at a ball u feel me...real nice...imageryon point,flow,structure...ur really good at writing...follow ur dreams u heard me...
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Quote:
DAYUM!!.....................DAMN!!................ .........did I say damn? im just that gangsta... |
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05-27-05, 12:44 PM | #15 | |||||
in your system
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IP: 9E2F CDE8
this was really cool....vivid imagery, i was really liking the way i could picture everyline....and strong emotion, which you are best at, i think.....overall, this was pretty a pretty awesome read, the intro line just made a great start, good stuff DQ, keep up
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this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
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