Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
08-02-05, 12:19 PM | #16 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: 82B2 1345
Uppin..........
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-02-05, 01:16 PM | #17 | |||||
Blow Me
|
IP: E1D7 D0FC
hmmm... this was a decent piece overall.. i could see what u were trying to do with it.. u just didnt execute ur thoughts very well... ur metaphor's were nice.. but not used in the best ways.. and i think u need to work on ur grammar a bit.. it makes for an easier read...
well overall i know u can do better but this piece was decent. 6.5/10
__________________
My Lines Are ILL yo |
|||||
08-02-05, 01:18 PM | #18 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: C789 02B6
Cool Uppin.....
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-02-05, 01:35 PM | #19 | ||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: CF74 5D3A
good for poetry heads but not even rap at all just didn't rhyme enough i just wonder is the poetry site empty boy do we have some stuff on this board for them like this piece right here no atrtitude just soft like jell-o
|
||||||
08-02-05, 01:41 PM | #20 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: C789 02B6
^^ Um........You stupid...That is all......Bye
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-02-05, 01:43 PM | #21 | ||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: CF74 5D3A
need dto get ghetto with this bring some action
|
||||||
08-02-05, 01:46 PM | #22 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: C789 02B6
Would you please leave?.........Seriously. Thank you.
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-02-05, 01:58 PM | #23 | |||||
in your system
|
IP: 9E2F CDE8
remember when you dont return favours though?
__________________
this world is a drug, and everyone's selfish FLY FREE |
|||||
08-02-05, 08:32 PM | #24 | ||||
|
IP: 0AE0 3B1A
This was a pretty tight peice..yorus tructure was good..your flow was on point..you had nice emotions..and good feeling going into your drop..i could really see that you took time out to do this drop..and i really thank you for that ...You also had nice imagery..and nice wordplay and vocab usuage.. Keep it up
__________________
The Competition
|
||||
08-02-05, 11:32 PM | #25 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: 5F6B D842
Thanx........Uppin....
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-03-05, 12:46 AM | #26 | ||||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
|
IP: F65F AFC0
this was good man, imagery was very good, emotion was good, flow and structure were good, keep it up man
__________________
i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
|
||||
08-03-05, 08:00 PM | #27 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: F919 6E32
Thank you. Uppin.
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
08-03-05, 11:09 PM | #28 | ||||
GG Haterz
|
IP: 2AFF F797
I liked this piece, your take on a killer was nice, but your similies were becoming kinda tedious. One or two is fine, but I don't like everything being a metaphor or similie. Be straight up sometimes. The imagery was nice and so was the emotion. Overall, this piece was definately worth the read, but try re wording your hook.
__________________
Quote:
For Anyone Who Wants to Talk to Me ^^I think this explains my view on gangster rap perfectly. |
||||
08-04-05, 11:00 AM | #29 | |||
Poet's Daughter.
|
IP: 8DCB F3D5
Thank you. Uppin.
__________________
mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* |
|||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|