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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-15-05, 03:04 PM
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#16
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Light Weight
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IP: 23D5 2B69
ay good drop...had good imagery as everybody else has said already lol...but work on ur metaphors a lil an everything will come 2getha fa u...keep elevatin
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08-15-05, 05:20 PM
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#17
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
emotion is nice thru this. The topic could of run a bti deeper,but apart from that this is a nice drop. you could of extended your vocab a bit more,more vocab means alot more emotion.
You should of run alot deeper with this topic, taken time and done more of a scripture peice. I know Rv dont like long drops but idf its dope they will read it. nice drop |
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08-15-05, 05:27 PM
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#18
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©
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IP: 742C 7013
Thanx for the feed n Ysdat i will holla at ya for a collab some time!!!!
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08-15-05, 07:00 PM
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#19
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IP: 07A8 D079
decent drop, the emotion was great as well as imagery.. the only tip i'd give you would be to measure your piece with enough metaphors, a few multis would be nice.. and a more complex rhyme scheme try to expand your vocab... this was pretty short, i would like to see another verse added to this if possible.. but for as it is, it's pretty decent.
stay up kid. 1
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08-15-05, 07:14 PM
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#20
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
nice drop here fa sho playa da hook, vocab, concept, strucutre & originality was there eva thang was on point i like u did dat keep writing cuz u got potential 8.5/10
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
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08-15-05, 07:35 PM
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#21
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Business Not Personal
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IP: 6645 381F
hot om here!
ya was able to make reading the text....... into one big story in my head really good flow to it.... the creativity was very good..... and i liked the guest apperence for the hook...... overall 8.5/10 *see under my sig for the Livin' Legendz OM*
__________________
 There's a lot of talk about whos the hottest, to be honest
hip-hop aint been the same since Tupac moved to Cuba on us! |
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08-15-05, 07:50 PM
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#22
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©
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IP: 742C 7013
Thanx for all the feed.......Watch Out for my 2 new OMs coming up!!!!
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08-25-05, 07:55 AM
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#23
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
yeh get at me. .
Last edited by Ysdat : 08-25-05 at 08:39 AM. |
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08-25-05, 08:19 AM
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#24
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Middle Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
look i felt this it made me wanna drop a line so i did
Have a bold voice but like an old horse still has the ill Ability to work not a silly jerk so I progress at will In a trap situation after an application to work at McDonald Flipping burgers tripping after mergers with French fries Ronald The clown got pissed couldn’t frown on this like a coach He demanded that I play by the rules stay in school and approach Classes with vengence |
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