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Old 09-23-05, 08:11 PM   #1
S&L
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Intro-Fuck Them

IP: 9602 A848

http://community.rapverse.com/showp...79&postcount=13

http://community.rapverse.com/showp...72&postcount=18

^Dont kno how links work yet.

Damn son roll out the welcom wagon
Time to spit some shit hot like a Drag-On
Ima hit u so hard ull tear ur rectus
Take a swing it would be like punching a cactus
But shit id like to think im unique
Flow is anemic, with unbelivable physique
But the thing is people have fucked up the game
They listen to hot rappers and try to sound the same
Thats why rap's filled with same sound singing about fame
Same beat, similar lyrics, just a different name

{Chorus}
Shit dis is da intro
Lighten up on high dro
Commonly just like Common,I lay back and let it Be
And like Talib, try to get Equality
Fuck that, trying to get out fuck the equals
ye..ye ye ye ye, dis is da prequel
FUCK EM

Damn dawg u so gangsta, nah boy u just stupid
You had ur gangsta raps i run and up and took it...
...Shook it
Switched it up and made it into something incredible
added a better lyrics made it a bit more edible....
....for your brain, so absorb this shit,
Indluge the lyrics till ur eyes are red
To complex? Is u stupid? Dat was a rethorical question
U fucked with the game, i hope u was using protection
Cuz people sing bout gansta shit, when really they soft
I dont mean im hardcore im just sayin enough...
...of these fuckin impostors
the game's a rollercoaster
so ride it u bitch
and this is an internent website, please dont expect to get rich
as a matter or fact stop singing about it
there is enough "loaded" nucca's, the game's over crowded

{Chorus}
Shit dis is da intro
Lighten up on high dro
Commonly just like Common,I lay back and let it Be
And like Talib, try to get Equality
Fuck that, trying to get out fuck the equals
ye..ye ye ye ye, dis is da prequel
FUCK EM
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Old 09-23-05, 08:20 PM   #2
Mentalz
The Topical Juggernaut
 
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From: The Write Side of The Brain
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Text Record: 6-3
IP: A2CF 2639

I'm not into Text much, but I have done it. First off I think your structure could use a little work, always helps. If you upped your vocab usage abit, you'd make the piece come across a little harder, toss in some nice multies and you're looking good an creative, with just a bit more work involved.

All in all, this was a good opener for your first RV drop (i'm assuming due to posts, might be an alias) correct me if i'm wrong.

Nice job man, keep it up.

Peace.
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