Seems like it follows Em's concept alot, same rythem. Nice wordplay and Idea. But sorry to say I can't really get into it...even though it's not biting, it just seems to close to it for me. No what i'm saying? No hate. Peace.

Bit of a crit. When you write to a beat, try and switch the concept to something different, even the rythem so it doesnt sound like they're saying it when you read it. Pay attention to your structure a little better... alot of people dont think it matters... but an acurate syllable count goes along way. Vocab and Multies. Rhyming with the one syllable words internal of finishing a line like :

My dog sat strapped on cats like a wack misshap
So my dad trapped a bat with a baseball bat//

Hella retarded example but you get the idea.

Peace

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Blow It - Topical