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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-02-06, 11:20 PM
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#1
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-da prophit-
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broken....
IP: CF86 0039
its been awhile so check this out...
born in 89, a broken home was not expected. family was reckless and at times i was senseless. left on my feet with no one to catch me when i fall. it was hell at my doorsteps as they whisperd there call. callin me closer and closer these demons were a mist. i was on the list, but death was to easy to come at the cut of a wrist. no good to balance out the evil, i saw no point in livin' demons on my back, have u ever had that feelin. where no one givin. but u constantly give anyway. where there is no turn of the page same shit every day. livin in a broken home, ur dome tends to get weak. and seak shit that aint real, and u tend to lose common speak. u leak ur flow and lose control that uve known for ur hole life. u lose the skills u had. u could lose ur family and wife. i lost my family i lost friends i never thought i could lose. i lost the clothes on my back even the lace on my shoe. and it wasnt kool. i thought i could get some help by myself. but it aint easy when ur songs dont sell shit and stay on the shelf. ive had 3 jobs at the same time trying to make the stack rise. but with these tears i cried i was drowning in my own tide. at a young age i lost more then that was givin' to me. i lost a mom a grandpa, family lost meaning to me. and wut did i do to god. that recently he killed my god father. he was more then that cus i used to call him my lost brother. we was close. he was a jewlery down on miami beach. always watchin wut i did. and every where i looked there was heat. but a brain tumor was wut he got... yea i guess the good die young. i always thought being a jewler he would die by the gun. but i guess i was wrong. i guess i was about alot of things. bout family.... i was wrong about most of my friends and it tends to bug me, cus i lost alot when i was little. my mom could have helped me a bit gettin out of the shit hole.
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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father. Last edited by scanz : 08-03-06 at 11:51 AM. |
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08-03-06, 09:04 AM
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#2
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-da prophit-
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IP: CF86 0039
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=232239
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=232814
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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father. |
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08-05-06, 12:42 AM
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#3
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-da prophit-
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IP: CF86 0039
uppin this shit.
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im so ill that cancer thinks im its father. |
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08-05-06, 02:40 PM
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#4
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New to RV
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IP: F6BF B7AB
hmm alright nice piece bro you aswell got to step your vocab up try to find something that really rhymes structure was alright could be better the flow was okay alot of lines sounded stretched when i rapped it out fix that man pretty good piece not to deep but okay keep up the work
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Moment Notice Music
^Coming Soon^ |
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08-06-06, 05:28 PM
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#5
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Whys That?
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IP: 5285 DC82
up that vocab.
Your concepts through out this are cool, you have a some what original approach to this topic. It had some ok emotion, but with more vocab the emotion would come through alot thicker. Try laying your shit out centre, it may make the structure look better , therefore making a easier read for people... fuck it let me centre it and see what it looks like. born in 89, a broken home was not expected.
family was reckless and at times i was senseless. left on my feet with no one to catch me when i fall. it was hell at my doorsteps as they whisperd there call. callin me closer and closer these demons were a mist. i was on the list, but death was to easy to come at the cut of a wrist. no good to balance out the evil, i saw no point in livin' demons on my back, have u ever had that feelin. where no one givin. but u constantly give anyway. where there is no turn of the page same shit every day. livin in a broken home, ur dome tends to get weak. and seak shit that aint real, and u tend to lose common speak. u leak ur flow and lose control that uve known for ur hole life. u lose the skills u had. u could lose ur family and wife. i lost my family i lost friends i never thought i could lose. i lost the clothes on my back even the lace on my shoe. and it wasnt kool. i thought i could get some help by myself. but it aint easy when ur songs dont sell shit and stay on the shelf. ive had 3 jobs at the same time trying to make the stack rise. but with these tears i cried i was drowning in my own tide. at a young age i lost more then that was givin' to me. i lost a mom a grandpa, family lost meaning to me. and wut did i do to god. that recently he killed my god father. he was more then that cus i used to call him my lost brother. we was close. he was a jewlery down on miami beach. always watchin wut i did. and every where i looked there was heat. but a brain tumor was wut he got... yea i guess the good die young. i always thought being a jewler he would die by the gun. but i guess i was wrong. i guess i was about alot of things. bout family.... i was wrong about most of my friends and it tends to bug me, cus i lost alot when i was little. my mom could have helped me a bit gettin out of the shit hole. yeh that definitly looks alot better, try doing that with your peices from now on, or even adding a size 4 title, some color and text style. that all adds for a better text peice. Stay dropping bro |
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