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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
01-06-07, 12:35 AM
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#1
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The Paragraph President
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The Tale of Despite (will rtf)
IP: 1F19 D2B9
www.soundclick.com/paranoidcan
beat produced by shawdowville verses by me and hook by me http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3132122 http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post3132114
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Last edited by Paranoid : 01-11-07 at 01:23 PM. |
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01-07-07, 12:35 AM
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#2
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Fuck Parents
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IP: 6BD1 CE02
hmmm.....quality is def better, likin this beat. sound like some freestyle type ish. ok, ya flow, sure it's on point, but it's very simplistic. need some kinda change in the rhyme scheme cuz after a while it gets boring n repetitive. u got a good voice for rappin tho, i see u got the monotone thing goin on but could still use some more emotion. chorus aint bad but needs better mixing cuz at first i couldnt even tell it was the hook.
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CS
....for life |
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01-10-07, 02:47 PM
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#3
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 1F19 D2B9
thanks for the feed..upnizzle
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01-11-07, 04:51 AM
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#4
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The Most Feared Gang!
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IP: 5AB8 1212
You needa change the link 2 ya sc in ure main post I had to click thru you're sig..
Quality is better..I remember this song...I like youre delivery in this, emotion is a lil better...some lyrics seems baby-ish, and some of them seem like fillers, jus to rhyme the 1 before..nah mean...and you give away the story from the beggining, and also I think ure making up words in some places lol so they rhyme, but yeah delivery n flow is pretty nice on this...and btw half the lyrics don/t make anysense like that virgin line lol..."don't sacrifice life to feel the delight" lol whats that?..but anyway decent track..
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....suck a dick faggot..... |
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01-11-07, 09:16 AM
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#5
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New to RV
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IP: F5A3 44EE
This Is Pretty Cool, ... Delivery Is Good, ..... Lyrics Are Ok; Kinda Simple Tho But None Of The Less Straight, .... Quality Is Also Good, .... The Story You Did Was Iight, Could've Been A Little Better I Guess, But Overall Straight Track Fam, Keep It Up, ....`1
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01-11-07, 01:25 PM
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#6
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 1F19 D2B9
word it was kinda weak written track i coulda wrote this better. but thanks for the feed.
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