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07-18-03, 03:44 PM | #1 | ||||||
Banned
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A Man's Wordz and Thoughtz...
IP: 7EF9 FAD9
this is a poem i'm writin for an opp for the speech team that i'm joinin next year. its one of those poems that dont rhyme so yea...
they say that a man's wordz and thoughtz are the same but i beg to differ. a mans wordz and thoughtz are two completely different things...yet they are two completely different things that are forever innertwined with one another. now a man's wordz are nothin more than a verbal image that is given off for others to depict them as. they range between the extremes from important seeming to pointless sounds spoken from the mouth. now, as for a mans thoughtz...that is a man at his truest, rawest, most pure form. a man can hide behind his wordz but he is completely exposed when it comes to his thoughts. a man's wordz are nothin more than a conjunction of letters that are put together to make sounds. but a mans thoughts are are his silent feelings, soundless emotions...they are the depths of his soul....... its not quite finished but what do you think of it so far? |
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07-18-03, 05:28 PM | #2 | |||||||
Str8 From CopKilla Queens
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IP: 4577 CD9A
i really like it, its just really raw yet smooth at the same time, i really like it my only suggestion would be heightened vocab because the piece is deepit deserves deeper vocab, 1luv.
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07-20-03, 02:08 PM | #3 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 7EF9 FAD9
aiight...thanks for the advice man. also i'm not quite finished with it cause i'm kinda stuck at that part. i dont know if i wanna keep talkin bout the differences or if i want to start talkin about a man and his wordz and thoughtz. could i get some suggestions?
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07-21-03, 01:16 PM | #4 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 7EF9 FAD9
anyone else out there?
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07-23-03, 07:57 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 84B7 08E9
Yeah, i like what you're trying to do here.
It's written well, though i feel needs to be read over and done over at least 5 times. It has things missing here and there. Seems not quite 'there' yet. But a solid basis. Oh wait, you said itt wasn't complete yet. So it's all good. Oh, and i dunno what kind of debate thing or whatever this is. But i'd say you subtely move onto exploring another side. Then another. Three should do it. ...resp... |
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07-24-03, 12:24 AM | #6 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 7EF9 FAD9
thanks for the feedback and i'll move on to another part of it
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