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09-10-03, 07:41 PM | #1 | |||||||
Registered User
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The beginning of the End
IP: E88E 70DE
Sorry this is another 'repeating' poem, it's juss the style I like ...
For every blossoming rose, there is a rose that dies For every child that smiles, there is a miserable child that cries For every bright, sunny day, there are tornadoes and rain that fall For every broken leg, a new baby learns to crawl For every tear that drops, there is a blissful smile For every suicide, someone else finds that life is worth while For every mourning death, a new child is born For every page of the Bible, there is a website full of porn For every broken heart, there is a heart that finds true love For every hunted animal, there is a beautiful flying dove For every hateful fight, there is a couple getting married For every new born child, there is a person getting burried For every drive-by shooting, there is a group of friends For every new beginning is just the beginning of the end...
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Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned They're only powerful when you got your back turned I yearn for the day I finally meet them again So I can give them all a taste of their own medicine ¤ 3ast Sid3 ¤ http://hometown.aol.com/jjbootaylicious |
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09-10-03, 08:33 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 1F11 B1D0
Nice poem, had a good flow to it and it was well organized.
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09-11-03, 12:46 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 3746 F53F
a few grammatical errors and I see alot of repeating nouns .... mix in some synonyms and you can take it up a knotch. peace
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09-13-03, 01:45 AM | #4 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 19EE F2A1
I liked it. The repeating motiff never really get old to me if it's done well, and this one does. I like the line
For every new beginning is just the beginning of the end... It just sounds really cool. peace
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We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. |
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09-16-03, 07:26 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: F496 DD3B
Yeah. This was unrelenting and rigid in it's style and meaning. The quite elementary yet well put together imagery was nice to read.
But the way you ended it made it a bit more than that. It rounded it off in a slightly echoing way...though not executed as good as it could've been. The overall effect was still there... ...resp... |
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09-17-03, 07:50 AM | #6 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: F150 0E6A
I thought taht poem was realy weel written and it is so true. i like the repetetive-ness. i thoguht it was well thought out.very good. i look forward to seeing more of this
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