Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
11-08-03, 02:30 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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To the rydas (dick rydas of course)
IP: 2A20 D9B5
Keys~
Now I'ma give it to you straight cuz I don't cop no pleas Vital, name also known as Keys Wit enough rhymepower to put you to the D's And you can see ya whole death on my TV screen How you wanna end it? Wit the cops and the Feds So I could cock back Empty out the back of your head Do a quick one, go head I'm quick wit the Mac-10 Shoot through the car The crew And the captain I ain't got the guts to snitch Talkin bout what ya crew is And forgot to mention they bitch Ain't much to talk about Heaters is gold wit red snouts Ashamed to see we gave one to ya child Slugs penetrate horrendous Tremendous I'm the principal shootin kids leavin em suspended KILLA KEYS |
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11-08-03, 02:41 PM | #2 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: 954A E2C5
work on a better flow, structure and concept wasn't a great piece at all but certainly not wack
5/10 please return the favor: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=89596 |
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11-08-03, 02:41 PM | #3 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 2A20 D9B5
uppin for critizizin
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11-08-03, 03:05 PM | #4 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: F845 C337
The structure of this piece wasn't there at all. The flow also wasnt too good because it was off at a lot of parts. You had really long lines, and then a short line that rhymed. The topic was good, and a lot of the vocabulary that you used was good, but the structure and flow were off. It was a good piece, but it would be better with a different structure and better flow.
__________________
<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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11-08-03, 03:22 PM | #5 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 2A20 D9B5
structure like how it was typed? because that's how i wrote it, it's like the LOX...read it again, it flows nicely
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11-08-03, 03:41 PM | #6 | |||||||
Light Weight
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IP: F845 C337
It might flow nicely to you because you wrote it. You know how you want it to sound. Not everyone else does. I'm not hatin on it, I liked it.. but the flow sounds off at places.. some of the words dont flow as well. Maybe to you they might but to me they really dont. Get what I'm sayin?
__________________
<center>Fuck it...</center> |
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11-08-03, 03:55 PM | #7 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 2A20 D9B5
Yeah i get you black...i knew that since the beginning... check this dude out in tragedy due to hate and hit this up tellin me if you think he can beat me or not.
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11-08-03, 03:56 PM | #8 | ||||
Banned: Permanent
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IP: 5F2A E1C0
3/10
Needs Work Ya Flow Is Off And The Material Is Blah Work on The Things That You See Vets Do Then You Should Be Good |
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