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11-18-03, 09:50 AM | #1 | |||
"The Eleete"
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-Influence-(Rate this please)
IP: FAD9 BD2A
aight i plan to finish this and make it a song. i just wanna know if you guys know where im goin with this. i used my wordplay but tried to keep the subject goin. give feedback. good or bad.
ayo ive been livin in a state where my mental imbalance is rage// before the stage before the pen even touches the page// mind full of confusion maybe its all an illusion// like a shock of elctromagnetic intrusion// abusin and manipulating words// simulatin swords to decapitate the chords// of instrumentals its the essence and fundamentals// done before the bass ever even met the treble// the level is at even a higher state// sit back enjoy the show an watch it escalate// you have to elevate in order to be great// but in this state of mind you could never tolerate// explode on the microphone and let yourself go// the desire to know electric flow has grown// so take a lesson from the greatest emcees// an you'll see an agree what im trying to achieve// |
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11-18-03, 10:01 AM | #2 | |||||||
Registered User
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IP: 7077 CDAA
Good shit. Nice wordplay and good story. "before the pen even touches the page..." That shit's sick right there. Extend this piece out and maybe throw a hook to it and see what happens. I think it'll be pretty tight. Good intro.
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11-18-03, 05:57 PM | #3 | ||||||
Banned
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IP: 7AC4 AFBD
yo man that shit is tight dawg keep it up like tsheff112 said
put a hook to it an it will b tight peace |
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11-18-03, 07:25 PM | #4 | |||||||
1E
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IP: 5AF5 5CA5
yeah the topic was ok, the flow was there, some nice vocab......a bit short, and a couple of lines, knocked the structure a bit, but i thought it was a decent read......Pc
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