Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
12-03-03, 03:33 PM | #1 | |||||||
Banned
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Raw Spittage (Hott..Hott) MUST PEEP
IP: 202C A952
Ayo Feel it
i'am mentally,actually blanked at the fact of black men resigning as gods// placing the blame is so hard,facing imremovable bounderies..looking thro bars// spitting keystyles with realizism involved...... watching from a far as many of you young textcee's struggle,trying evolve// blood flows interact,with a pen's ink til my brain waves go flat// an i stare death in the eye if you choose to call it that// i rewind time back,cerberal mind-that-interwines dimes an dollars an pimpslaps-back-all-you wack cats// my thought like a vase with egytion scrotures imprinted,with great wonders getting smashed by some has-been with base-ball bats// i type my pains away..i remain the same.... tho the people an world around me might change// the presidents a cheif resident evil,so much war....sometimes i wish we can all put our beef away// fuck what everyone of you people say....fuck all the guns you spray..while other lay dieing// my minds on weed an the heats getting turned up til my brain starts frying// i'll only human...an the sky's seem so infinite with birds flying backwards an clouds forming monuments// an earth's speaking in tongue's lyrically surrounded by shit.... i fight back with my words..before my only answer was found-in-my-fist// the lips of knowlegde i drink with..made it a whole lot easier from my mental's to deal with// my hands still ball up,an beat walls...to feel-the-real-shit-with more than just speech but the increase in my palm width// it's like a got numb tibs,but i'll rather be fearless than to blast off gun clips.. |
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12-03-03, 03:45 PM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: 19AF 50C1
YO I LOVE THIS ISH THE INTRO SET THE PACE AND YOU MAINTAINED IT VERY WELL DISCRIPTIVE POETIC LYRICISM GREAT WORD SELECETION AND MEANING.
YOU SEAM WELL EDUCATED IN THE TOPIS ALMOST AS IF 1STPERSON FORMAT IT MAKES ME CURIOUS WHAT ALL YOU STUDY AND IF YOU HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF ILLUMINATTI AND MASON CONCEPT? TIGHT PEACE NONE THE LESS. |
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12-03-03, 03:49 PM | #3 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 76B1 9A60
You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of peoples you left feedback in or this will get deleted...
But like Word said this was a pretty good piece....but your structure needs a bit of work, your lines were stretched out, you should try to make them around the same length so its structured well...flow in this was alright but kinda got off cause of the stretched lines...but overall this was a pretty good piece....keep at it. |
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12-03-03, 08:49 PM | #4 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: 202C A952
(oh yeah i forgot...)... its a lot of cats i've left feedback to... i'll post'em up ... in a min
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12-04-03, 11:02 PM | #5 | |||||||
Banned
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IP: 202C A952
no love? don't Sleep...... !
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12-05-03, 08:48 AM | #6 | |||
...
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IP: 59AD 8C08
post your three links, or this gets deleted.
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Life isn't a bitch... she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis |
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12-07-03, 07:07 PM | #7 | |||
A King Missing a Queen...
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IP: 8D7B 43DF
This was a nice piece hommie. I liked the word play, rhyme scheme, and the vocab was straight. We will talk about the crew thing through PM, but it is lookin nice hommie. You have elevated really nice...
---> Return the favor and peep the link in my sig... OUT -High Class a.k.a Confusion
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Sig created by "Tha Sick One..." CRHYME SINDICATE Open Mic Drops -Defying The Odds- Higher Thinking League Record 2-0 High Class vs Tweety ( semifinals match) |
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