Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
10-28-04, 05:08 PM | #1 | ||||
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Multi Arrange-Ments
IP: 4C8F 0F5D
My el-e-ment is verbal development,
Lines composed of herbal designed embellishments, Pre-defined by third eyes and unkind compelling hit's, That undermind the weaker sign's trying to re-transmit, Point of view's exchanging clue's not so obvious, Between the lines lie's sign's of the eternal bliss, Arranging shrines deviner than all that exist's, Just keep in mind and find out you will soon admitt, Take this lesson as a heart felt blessin, To change your mind so that you won't be stressin, Just addressin and assessin some abstract out of the word work corrections, Of view finder switch's not glitch's inside my main existance, I'm made of kinder not blinder definer's of persistence, To make you not break you and form harder resistence, Against the making of faking arranging of asisstance, I've been ordered to forward a message to your head, To go preach it and speak it exactly how i said, Not disordered, contorted or tainted evil read, Just to shove it above what is already dead,
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10-28-04, 05:46 PM | #2 | ||||
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IP: 4C8F 0F5D
~*~*~*~*~ Feed Back Would Be Half Decent ~*~*~*~*~
Would Highly Appriciate It...
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10-28-04, 06:13 PM | #3 | ||||
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
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IP: 4C8F 0F5D
Ya'll Stop Sleeping On This.. I Know I Could Of Improved It..!!!
But Ya'll Could Leave Some Feedback... Whether.. It Be Positive... Or Negative...
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10-28-04, 08:57 PM | #4 | ||||
Back In Business
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IP: 9DD1 2DB9
lol...I read it... it was cool for being away as long as you have ... i liked it... i think the ending could have been better but not bad... beginning was real strong... started to lose me a little at the 4th paragraph... but again... i liked it overall
The Definition *subliminal message*...lol |
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10-28-04, 09:02 PM | #5 | ||||
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IP: 4C8F 0F5D
lol ... DapzZz...... *Good Lookin* ..!!
Appriciate The FeedBack...!!!! Don't Know How You Got Lost... But...!!! I Guess Anything Is Possible....!!!!!!!
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10-28-04, 10:43 PM | #6 | ||||
Back....
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IP: 34E7 8281
nice poem. very good. when you make another one holla.
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Back..... |
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10-29-04, 01:16 AM | #7 | |||||||
Banned: Compromised Account
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IP: 1C0F 1C11
Daym baby girl... nice solid piece here.... the first part was good... the vocab you used in it was good... the structure was good... each stanza had good points and was all well put out.... keep it up baby
hit mine up if you can Litmus Test 1 love babygirl |
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10-29-04, 03:12 PM | #8 | |||||
<<-Carpe Noctum->>
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IP: 0825 899A
Nice poem girl, this had great flow and dope vocabulary, i was feelin this drop, keep it up, you have great style......1
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"QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT--AUT VINCERE AUT MORI" O Y D *FluidMusic* *Poetic Scriptures Moderator* |
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10-29-04, 03:14 PM | #9 | |||||
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IP: 4C8F 0F5D
Quote:
**Appriciate The FeedBack.... BabeGyal** ... Respect' ....!!!!! Upppin!
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10-29-04, 05:35 PM | #10 | ||||
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
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IP: 4C8F 0F5D
Ya'll Stop Sleeping On This.. I Know I Could Of Improved It..!!!
But Ya'll Could Leave Some Feedback... Whether.. It Be Positive... Or Negative... Leave A Link.. And I Will Most Deff Return The Favor... ' ..!!!
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10-31-04, 12:20 AM | #11 | |||||
Puttin MD On The Map
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IP: 408D D2A2
dannnnnnnggggggggg this was a really good piece for you being away for some time...flowed beautifuly.....multis off the hook.....vocab was great...to me it didnt seem to fall off near the end like the others said cuz they just didnt understand the meanin of your perspective of words in it........keep it up beautiful....post some feedback on my first poem in my sig......graci
peace~1
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.:Retired:. |
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11-12-04, 12:01 AM | #12 | |||||
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IP: 28AD 5545
nice piece, dml... but u need to work on the end cuz it fell off a lil' but you not bad as a poetess, keep workin' at it, and take it easy on the vocab cuz u don't need to prove nothin'... poetry is meant to be pleasing to the ear, you don't have to get technical with it, just keep the emotion factor and focus on the topic and you're str8...
pz..
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11-19-04, 05:26 PM | #13 | ||||
New to RB
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IP: 8B74 EA48
Damn, that was pretty hot. You kept it coming and ended pretty strong although these other people don't think you did. Most everyone wants their stuff to be preached to the world, so I thought that was tight.
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Diggity Can You Dig It? |
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11-20-04, 11:21 PM | #14 | |||||||
Middle Weight
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IP: DE17 B514
nice shit ma, sounds kinda like sumthin i'd do....check mine out...
keep it up....~1~ |
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12-18-05, 10:19 PM | #15 | ||||
♡»..::[[.вlιиgαα.]]::..«♡
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IP: 0EAE 2566
.. - Appriciate The Feed Back People, Thanks - ..
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