Looking 4 Feed Back So Be Honest

This Feeling Man It Makes Me Weak At The Knees
It Has To Be The L-o-v-e
I Hate It Man This Feeling I Obtain
Love Is When Ya Heart Just Takes Over Ya Brain
Noting But Love Between Us Thee No Hate I Aint Saying No Names But I Think I Met My Soul Mate
Now It Might Sond Crazy
Stupid Or Sumting
Its Strange
Like I Got Hit By Cupind Or Sumting
Its All Bout You Ma Forget The Set Im Repping
I Would Walk 1000 Miles Just To See You 4 A Second
You The Apple In My Eye
You The Reason Im Breating
Thanks To My Cheating It Gave You Reason 4 Leaving
No Im Sitting In My Room Remanissin Bout The Past
9th Grade Math When I Used To Pass You Notes In Class
You The Key In My Ignition
U Da Sun In The Sky
No Im Sitting My Room And Im Wondering Y
Y I Let You Slip Away Y I Lose My Grip
Y Im Sitting My Room Bout To Thro A Fit
Y I Aint Out Side Bout To Get I Da Whip
Y I Aint Outside Ya Window Spitting This Verse Atcha Crib
Y I Need You In My Blood Like Oxygen
You The Reason 4 My Being
The Mission 4 My Existance

The Reason Y Im Here Begging The Lord 4 For Giveness

feed back plz
let me no where i need to work

Thats pretty hot. I cant fault it at all man.
Wat do ya fink of dis one?
I’ve never known true love,
Or had someone by my side,
All the happiness and joys of love,
From me the world seems to hide.
I’ve never found that special person,
I don’t think I ever will.
Every time someone comes along,
Some one else just has to kill,
My opportunity to be happy,
My chance to be seen
As someone who is something.
Now I’ll never know what may have been.

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RESPEKT

Ay yo that was a really nice poem, touching really....

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he he yeah nice shit man

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nice tite drop im rally feeling this poem
nicce poem nice nice wordplay structure and scenery

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Guess who?...

...Paramik Fuckin'...

...Owns You!

ok 1st im jus postin cause i don't think
anybody here has given ya any decent feedback..
what i say is ta help ya elevate..
n i aint riding ya pussy like errybody else
im gonna say i enjoyed it but a poem especially
bout love should be able ta be understood by erry1,
ya got a little 2 complex"i don't say that often".
.loli'll break it down 4 ya.....



aight overall this was a really powerfull piece,the reason i say lower some"hence"some of your vocab is cause not erry bodies gonna kno what some of those words mean"there loss"but it also takes away from the overall effectiveness of the piece...if they don't"get"some of it right....
aight if i had ta rate it,i think it would be about...ummm..between..8.5/9.2..
check these out"who kno's ya might wanna start battlin"...
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=141117
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=140239
http://community.rapverse.com/showb...d.php?p=1480054

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left...2 many herbs