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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
09-24-05, 01:31 AM
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#16
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: A2CF 2639
Still got it for our for our collab we're doin' silly.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate  The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-24-05, 02:44 AM
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#17
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Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
Quote:
Basicly everything i think, The ryme sheme is alright, The pice was nice and the vocabulary was excellent man, I give this a 8.5/10 easily, I love how you put it together too...The structure wasen't my genere but i really can't complain...You can tell you put some effort into this.....Nice Drop  |
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09-24-05, 06:38 PM
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#18
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The Paragraph President
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IP: 2372 BC06
i like this lil om, stucture was real good and as was your flow. the vocabulary was used a lot in this one, emotion coulda been upped though. you coulda brought more creativty, if your gonna use all that vocabulary you might as well put it to work and add some eternal multiples in there. theres no point in all that vocab without multiples ya know. imagery was very good. just a nice lil piece man
1
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09-24-05, 08:51 PM
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#19
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Maggot
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IP: CF74 5D3A
Paranoid THATS WHAT i'M TALKING ABOUT FYOUR YOU RESPONDED TO THIS POST BUT TO MINE YOU SAID WHACK ASS BULL SHIT THIS IS WHAT I WANT FUCK THAT NOT BEING EQUAL TO EVERYBODY SHIT
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09-25-05, 03:03 AM
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#20
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: A2CF 2639
^lmao @ OP. Thanks for the feeds guys.
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-26-05, 03:46 PM
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#21
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The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: D35B 3F85
Uppin' one last time. Would appreciate any real feedback I get before this thread rolls off the page from neglect.
 (ALL feeds will be returned in-depth)
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-27-05, 06:15 AM
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#22
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Maggot
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IP: CF74 5D3A
move slowly and groove holy got a smooth rolly on my arm with a strong alarm like a Viper on a car while in the cypher far above the rest a thug at best trying to hustle in battle and rusle cattle like them cowboys but somehow toys with minds like Psychologists, so I'm at my house MENTALZ down in South Central trying to carjack a fool with plan corrupt "yo dawg throw you hand up toss them nice keys or or a lost of life frreeze don't move"
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09-27-05, 03:40 PM
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#23
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Fuck Parents
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IP: EC3E 1DFA
Wow, feelin the flow, the multies really make it alot better, the structure was good as was the rhyme scheme but creativity was lacking a bit, vocab was good but maybe a bit overused considering some places didnt really make sense, coulda put more emotion into it woulda made the imagery better but it was still pretty good though
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CS
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09-27-05, 07:46 PM
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#24
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Bringin The Rukas
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IP: 0825 899A
good structure and good vocab that was good dont stop writing
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09-28-05, 11:44 PM
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#25
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Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 0E8D 75DA
rise ill return feedback for thsi peice too
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09-29-05, 07:33 PM
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#26
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Light Weight
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IP: 579F F01D
I liked it man and strong vocab 8/10
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09-29-05, 11:55 PM
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#27
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Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
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IP: 7425 1922
really liked this, emotion was excellent, flow and structure were good also, overall this was a good read from top to bottom, keep it up
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 i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
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11-14-05, 04:01 PM
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#28
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Given Light
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IP: 4BF1 225F
Your opener is the best part in my personal opinon about your open mic. Solid structure the whole way through, some good internal rhyming with your words. This is a bit of a played topic to write on but you made good use of it. Imagery was good in this but for sure, opener and closers you nailed. Props on this piece.
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