eva since i saw ashlee simpson
i've been thinkin of her since than
a dream come true
would be me and you
i'll put on a charm
to get you in my arm
i'll even protect you from harm
under this misery
i made a big discovery
i need a lover see
and your the one for me
so believe me
i'll make it easy for you
all you gotta do
is always be true
if you eva sad
i'll be there to comfort you
i wont ask for much
and baby i got the perfect touch
so come on my level
you could pick the place
where we could settle
your so sweet
that you sweep me of my feet
baby im super nice
and with me around niggas will think twice
my love for you i'll spit it
and with you i will kick it
you always in my dreams
my love for you aint a skeme
we could keep it on the low
or every1 could know
ashlee your so fine
you really blow my mind

__________________

this is specail so dont hate on it.just view and if dont like it or if you just hate it dont reply

__________________

how is anyone gonna give you constructive critism then so you can elavate then?

Personally I thought it was too basic and it didn't flow that well

__________________

what should i do to make better.

__________________

dawg, you need to elevate ya rhymes to a higher level, you need more depth, consistency and wordplay

aight. your advice helps. every1 says im too basic.

__________________

yeah dawg you need to think up some depth.....What do you listen to?

dawg, peep tha song Resevoir Dogs off Jay-z Vol 2. listen to both sauce and jay on that song dawg, they got sick deep verses....

aight thanx.

__________________

word dawg....good lookin out.....

good shit but like they say work on ur flow n wordplay expand ur skill use more punches,multies,wordplay depending da track otha than dat good drop i feel it cuz i kno how u feel peace out dawg 1 luv holla

__________________

use bigger words to ryme other then like ryme and time or hoe flow get what im sayin u need to elevate more aight holla

aight thanx all to all who replyed

__________________

c'mon ppl view ma shit plz i leave feed back fo you

__________________