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09-22-05, 10:48 PM | #1 | |||||||
Under Oath
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The Hunted ft Paranoid
IP: 4540 25A9
Legend Sinnister Paranoid They could not silence our tounges with their malicious lies, Their unforgotten violence, remember those who died. My mortality left behind,strength arise, my entity freed. Cries of life, forsaken by god, I wander aimlessly. I beseech you all, my calling for the fate of all, believe. Take me away my soul was caged, now released Walking over the abyss with angels by my side Although there's nothing else to see, I'm blind.. My voice lost, a hostile brain generated Kept in one, failin to reign the frustrated A ghosts trigger, justice was provoked This lost soul spoke, hopeless and a joke Fragmented people, scared to be equal Always lonesome, but faired to be lethal Hesitation was provin, situated at dawn The wolfs moon, fearing the cats yawn Impossible to be defeated, easily won Rank extortions explode, carrying a lone My kingdom functions, ly all this desperation Unable to conceive, thy twist separation hookx2: The names of the dead whispered in tongues Voices lie still, songs left unsung Bury these words in ashes and blood Here lie the worlds of dreamers decayed and unloved In this world of the desperate and lost cast in filth Compassion condemned in this nightmare fulfilled Born and enslaved to this modern age Where blood stains each step of this path we have paved What price for our reign, what cost for their fate, In this night un-ending when dawn comes too late For each life that's stolen and each cry unheard For our lust that's written in scars on this Earth The lies which they teach with forked tongues they speak Of this world created to conquer, to rule their greed....... hookx2: The names of the dead whispered in tongues Voices lie still, songs left unsung Bury these words in ashes and blood Here lie the worlds of dreamers decayed and unloved |
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09-22-05, 10:49 PM | #2 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
Last edited by TheSinnister : 09-23-05 at 09:11 PM. |
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09-23-05, 04:19 AM | #3 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: D35B 3F85
Damn this was actually pretty good, I liked the hook, nice touch.
Paranoid: Your flow was great, structure on par. The shortness of your lines just made it stand out all the more. I like your choice of language. All in all, nice job bro. Sin: Damn man, nice job on the hook (i'm sure it wasnt TOO hard to come up with, but it went along good) Your structure wasnt as good as Par's, but it didnt seem to hinder your flow much at all. I liked the vocab tyou used, not overdone, just enough. You both seemed to get your points accross well enough, keep it up! 7/10 RTF in the link on my sig, peace.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
Last edited by Mentalz : 09-23-05 at 05:05 AM. |
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09-23-05, 04:25 AM | #4 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: D35B 3F85
Hurry up and drop some links so bonehead doesnt lock ur' shit
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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09-24-05, 02:34 AM | #5 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
^^^^^^^^^^Thanks For the warning man..............
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09-24-05, 02:38 AM | #6 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: A2CF 2639
lol, no prob man
__________________
Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
Last edited by Mentalz : 09-24-05 at 02:48 AM. |
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09-24-05, 02:45 AM | #7 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
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09-24-05, 02:52 AM | #8 | ||||||
Maggot
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IP: CF74 5D3A
nice stuff but lines too short flow was ok you could've easily rhymed it more structure somewhat like mine
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09-24-05, 03:56 AM | #9 | ||||||
Maggot
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IP: CF74 5D3A
my facts never phony they please and has taste like macaroni and cheese hit targets with guns and get market funds like investers, account blank need amounts in banks like
Bill Gates have ill fate on computers be boss everywhere with software |
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09-24-05, 05:30 PM | #10 | |||||
The Paragraph President
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IP: 2372 BC06
^wtf
anyway thanks for the feed Mentalz. uppin http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2454430
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09-26-05, 05:54 PM | #11 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
shaft 26 , please don't free post in my open mics
Thank You |
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09-27-05, 07:54 PM | #12 | |||||||
Bringin The Rukas
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IP: 0825 899A
good stuff i also liked the hook need a little bit of help on structere
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09-28-05, 11:38 PM | #13 | ||||
Bann The Deed NOT The Breed
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IP: 0E8D 75DA
props to both of u sinnister u came hot on this good flow and the 2nd best flow ive seen from a dope topical head
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O.Y.D. |
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09-29-05, 04:05 AM | #14 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 4540 25A9
^^^^^^Thanks, For the feedback.,..................
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10-06-05, 08:07 PM | #15 | |||||||
Under Oath
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IP: 9AF0 1BFA
thanks willa, ill check some of your shit out.....
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