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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
02-01-04, 11:38 PM
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#1
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That's Right...I'm White
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Inside my head
IP: A735 F71F
I remember the things that brought me down
but now things are startin to come around my life has put me through hell, but now thats over everything's lookin good, like i picked up a 4 leaf clover all those times i cried, but now luck's on my side being truthful to all my friends that is what i tried things are lookin good, or is it just a trick i don't really know, but i really like this chick i know she likes me, and i know i like her too sorry to my ex, all those things i put you through i know this is strange, i'm not really being myself but i put my anger away, and stored on my shelf but ya all never know, it could simply come back whatever comes to mind, i could rip shit and attack but i'll try to keep it all hidden locked and concealed never want all but pieces of the truth revealed things that go on inside my head it can be confusing but yet, i still find it all to be quite fucking amusing just a quick keystyle, i dunno might make sense, might not but it's all good right uppin for feedback peace |
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02-02-04, 02:31 PM
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#2
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: FDA1 CEDC
uppin for feedback
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02-02-04, 02:46 PM
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#3
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New to RB
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IP: 1B3B C284
This was a good piece...some basic lines...but all the emotion was good because a lot of people may feel like this...but you flipped the end..that was cool i'd try to get more imagry...and some more detail from metphores...but good drop keep it up
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02-02-04, 10:35 PM
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#4
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Flyweight
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IP: 22D2 4A11
I read it, curious of what your content would be.....
I did feel EMOTION and that is MAIN THING to me, be it freestyle, (keystyle) , Poetry, songs, etc Emotion is what ties other to the song So that is my strong point : I was able to feel it !! Captured the moment Structure was DOPE Multies were kinda basic, (but this isn't a battle) so don't matter as much as EMOTION Vocab was kinda basic too Overall I liked and I will rec. a read to someone As ALWAYS Keep Elevating JamesJr.
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undefined Love for all real lyricists and poets ~~~~~~~~ Open Mics http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112397 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111729 2nd Battle NEEDS 4 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=111647 http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=110858   
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02-04-04, 01:48 PM
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#5
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That's Right...I'm White
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IP: F770 BF33
thanks
uppin |
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