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02-08-04, 08:13 PM | #1 | ||||||
Guest
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Slavery (Deepish)
IP: FED2 6C95
Tearz*
Back scared by the ruthless jerk To be captured as slaves for worthless work Chained and wiped and treated like dirt With every snap of the wipe, it had to hurt Young men sold as slaves for 100 dollars It wasnt worth it, to be jerked around in neck collars Invaded their villages burning there homes With nothing to fight them except for stones Loading slaves by the hundreds on to ships Chaining them down and snaping them with wipes Dozens dying of dieses from toxic waste Vomiting everything they eat because of the unusaul taste 15 teen years old and treated as a man No way of escape, your only weapon is your hands Three days without seeing light And two dead freinds chained on your left and right You try your hardest to fight back the tears But you remember memorys from past years The times you spent with your family and friends And now your chained and wiped and takin from them Not my best, but I wanted to drop somthin deep. Uppin For Feed. |
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02-08-04, 08:53 PM | #2 | ||||||
Guest
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IP: FED2 6C95
Uppin it. Uppin it.
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02-08-04, 09:10 PM | #3 | |||||||
Just call me your Savior
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IP: BB8C D4B2
humph...
o....k.... it was simple and seemed like it didn't make much time to make it, this makes ME want to think it was a freestyle, but tha fact you told it tha way you did leaves massive doubts... on tha other hand, you did use intense imagery to tell a poetical sense of your story about slavery, not a topic too touched upon in today's hip hop society... overall, just try to take your time when you want to make a serious drop, read it over, change things to make it put emotion to your reader's... 5 / 10
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02-08-04, 09:11 PM | #4 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: EC0B 84C7
nice drop. short but nice. it was consistent which is good. the flow was apparent.
the meaning was felt and it was complex enough. good topic to write about. one thing though, wipes=whips. thats how you spell it. lol. i dunno, its just cuz you said whips like 4 times, it kinda caught my eye. and try not to be so repetitive. over all~ nice drop. hope to hear more. hit this up in return plz: http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112457 pz
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02-08-04, 09:18 PM | #5 | ||||
So Tired Of It.
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IP: 399E F0FD
it was decent...very simple and childish seems to me you didnt pt alot of effort into it and if you did you should be ashamed..
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02-08-04, 10:41 PM | #6 | |||||||
GÄÑg§tå Gu®£
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IP: 6C97 66D3
It was alright.. reminds me of something I wrote when I started out.. keep droppin the deep ish!
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<center> "Fuck Y'all Hataz." </center> |
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