Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
05-14-04, 02:52 PM | #1 | ||||
New to RB
|
newbie trying ta make a name...
IP: 987D 8FFE
imma drop some shit to get critiqued...hit up on it...
let it be known, my tempers shorter than al capone/ im rockin' the zone, while ya'll niggas is pickin on bones/ yo shits blown/ like a speaker bitch when i penetrate/ make ya'll bitches wanna try, but just couldnt relate/ im in a whole nother state/ when im rockin the mic, these fake ass bitches sock it to me but i keep this shit tight/ i shine bright, admist the night/ with might, i crack your eardrum/ yo shit it sounds dumb/ i'll let the Cali Agents spit it, "neva forget where you came from"/ with these drums i make sound/ and with these thoughts i manifest/ i spit it loud and obnoxious, to bound and strike the hearts of the deaf/ with no contest/ i stand ecstatically/ the master of this galaxy/ while hip-hops bleedin the truth, industry niggas is stabbin with fallacy, its maddening/ a bit short but fuck... hit up on this shit...need some feedback...the truth never hurts...peace
__________________
"...from the first to the last of it..." |
||||
05-14-04, 05:43 PM | #2 | |||||
The Ups and Downs of Life
|
IP: D666 F54C
I think you show real potential, but you have to work on your rhyme structure- that way anyone can read it to a beat. Your wordplay is decent but you need to incorporate more punchlines...all in all I say Keep elevatin cuz your on your way to nasty.
|
|||||
05-14-04, 06:56 PM | #3 | ||||||
New to RB
|
IP: 537C AAE4
that was pretty good for one of your first posts, try to up your game though
|
||||||
05-17-04, 02:35 PM | #4 | ||||
New to RB
|
IP: 987D 8FFE
much thanx...learnin' shit...
__________________
"...from the first to the last of it..." |
||||
06-02-04, 01:10 PM | #5 | |||||
(00)O=(00) <-- I will knock you the fuck out........
|
IP: B20F 67F7
i wasnt feelin ti to much but it wasnt to badd keep elevatin iight.........................................
__________________
|
|||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|