The whole concept of this song is just to focus on my metaphors but still make a quality track at the same time.

Verse 1
The say you can't acheive what you can't believe/
I'm undefeated 'cuz I know that you ain't puttin' your faith in me/
Basic'ly, you must have mistaken me, for/
A rapper with no heart, I smoke hard till my eyes is Asian, G/
Facin' me is your fate, unfortunately/
I'm the man who's increased your baby's momma's birthrate/
Half of y'all ain't even felt the word "hate"/
Diff'rences between me and you, I'm 3rd verse, you 3rd rate/
I ain't no gangsta rapper dog, I'm much reala (realer)/
The only coke I fuck wit' comes in either cherry or vanilla/
Shit, I just wanna marry on the villa/
Live lavish with some white bitch named Carrie or Pricilla/
I'll do a lot more than ice grill ya, you don't amaze me/
As a child of the 80's I'm determined to flow crazy, hate me/
If you wish, but music makes me, a stronger lyricist/
Come against this, out you'll get Lain like Chasey/
In the battlefield brotha I'm front line/
Dead center with my troops, takin' out opposition with one line/
There's one time you can make a mistake, the 2nd time you fuckin' up/
The 3rd you jealous of life and want mine/
They sweet like Nestle, I eat 'em at Crunch Time/
I'll rob you of your money like that bully at lunch time/
And if you sniff coke then I'll tell you a joke/
And sock you in the nose, bitch, how's that for punch lines?/

I ain't done with the track yet, but gimme some feedback so I can perfect it.

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Have the ability to steer fat ships
So it’s silly to fear cats scripts
Proceed with a speed of thirty knots
Flow feed the need when I run up in dirty spots
In the past I slept on competition
But now a main task so I accept the condition
With open arms, smoking calms my nerves
New laws affect crime rate
True flaws lead to blind fate
So a glock shot on the block shows hate

yo Kid that was tite man i felt u on evry line we shud do dat tag team thin u was talkin bout ne time u ready holla at me, keep postin n ill keep postin holla!

Aight man, keep bangin'. Still uppin' for more feedback folks.

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feelin this all the way...ill shit dawg...8/10

peep my battle

http://community.rapverse.com/showb...189#post1459189

~1~

Thanks for the feedback. Still uppin', hit me up people!

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7/10 it was not badd

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Thanks, still uppin' for feedback, hit me up people.

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neva new it would turn dis way is da name of me n emrgin's new shit nice drop liked dat line shit was funny real nice

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neva new it would turn dis way is da name of me n emergin's new shit nice drop liked dat line shit was funny real nice

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Thanks, uppin'...

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Uppin'...

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Uppin'...

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