RapVerse.com Community
 Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End RV Radio  

Go Back   RapVerse.com Community > Fresh From The Lab > Textual Releases
User Name
Password
FAQ Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-30-04, 01:37 PM   #1
head knight
New to RB
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
just goffen off

IP: C287 ECEE

brake bones in dislocate spines with nines
were he looks like a bottle of hine's
fuck you your unseen crew
this felix-driver missin screw's (get it felix screw driver)
i destroy your style in seconds b
you not matchin my golden abilty
go act hard kidd i never been a damn motherfuckin wuss
u could not eat me alive if my name was on ur moms puss
get the nine in u be the student in me the teacher
i shoot in fuck up your temple like a horny preacher

(preaccher fuckin kids in temple)

piss on your keyboard in have you typein in mosit codes
then leave your style more naked then playboy center folds

(n they bear assed lol)
shit i put you in your place you be the champ when we face 2 face/
leave you with a final stiff pose like the rest i my throphy case/
  Reply With Quote
Old 09-30-04, 03:59 PM   #2
Ysdat
Whys That?
 
Posts: 2,007
Joined: Sep 2004
Status: Offline
Text Record: 11-0
Audio Record: 2-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: 5285 DC82

wow!! This is not to good at all.But you must no that seen as the title's "just goofing off". This has simple rhyme's in it, The flow isnt really there.Those explanation's in bracket's sort of fuck's thing's up while reading it. If you need to use explanation's put them at the end of your peice.Also the rhyme's are in bold .This isnt nessacerily a bad thing but if your rhyming and flowing nice you dont have to make your rhyme's stand out.We will be able to see were they are..but overall I would give this a 5/10... Keep elevating and you should be sweet...........pz
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-01-04, 03:02 PM   #3
Simple Sage
New to RB
 
Simple Sage's Avatar
 
Posts: 41
Joined: Sep 2004
From: Carolina of the North
Status: Offline
Text Record: 0-0
Audio Record: 0-0
Graphics Record: 0-0
IP: C1B6 770C

^ what he said

basically your gonna have to start from scratch if you ain't bullshittin..lengthen your lines a lil..not a whole lot..but those 2 bars you had could've been a bar if you were wordin it right
__________________

^I think my Food for thought got me Full of myself...^

The Voice of Reason
[Sage's Playlist]
Billshut
Letter to Katherine
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 05:01 PM.

Powered by vBulletin.
Copyright © 2000-2004 Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.