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Old 12-08-04, 07:38 PM   #1
distilled
hullabaloser
 
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1,2,3

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1st of all, things we'r great, This back when we started dating,
Me and you, no doubts in truth, We Stuck it through the hating,
Never debating the ending, thinkin we could stick with it forever,
And most the times you were right, always knew you were clever,
You wer'nt just my girl, I looked up to you, and I respected you,
Always my priority, not once did I ever put things next to you,
It was like we were meant to be, nothing could tear us apart,
Eye To Eye, Cheek To Cheek, Lip To Lip, Heart to Heart
MY thoughts remained solely on you, why would i Ever Stray?
I knew the games you played, and I loved the words you'd say,
I can remember the day it crumbled, It's like a picture in my mind,
The downfall of perfection, The Day My Past came from behind.

2 days without you, I begin to feel the space around me,
Your out of my life, I begin to feel the dark surround me,
Started again, we'r both with other people now, No Jeaulosy,
You'll come back to me, yeh, I can feel it, soon you'll see
So my new girlfriend left me, I didnt notice till a week later,
Your man has to do the same, when he does I'll be there waiting,
But No, 3 months go by, you two are still there going strong,
How Can This happen to Me?? What The Fuck is Going On???
Life without you seems wrong, Please come back, I need you,
I sit outside you house and stare like it was see through,
Then the night came, You saw something moving in the bushes,
Never thought I would ever be fearing feeling your touches.

3 years later, And I'm clean, over you, through the counselling,
Thats when the phone rings, Pick it up to hear you answering,
After all this time, what went through your mind to make you call?
I nearly had it all, New Life, New Wife, I'd overcome the Fall,
But No, At this new moment you decide To bring yourself back,
Taking control again, Running my life, My soul feels Black,
In pain from you, but theres no way I could say No to you,
Even if your min flips like this, You can't expect mine to too,
I'm back within the circles now, what used to be love, Gone Off
I can't reject though, So I stay with you, But just feel lost,
Suicide is now an option, How could this come from Perfection?
As I stare down the Barrel of a gun, I write My Story As A Lesson.
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Old 12-08-04, 07:47 PM   #2
Young Drama
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8/10........................................
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Old 12-08-04, 07:50 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Garanteed
8/10........................................


It would have been better to see nothing at all, No offense, but it sucks to jsut see a number you feel me.

You should say where people can improve, what they did right.

namsayin.
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Old 12-08-04, 07:54 PM   #4
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ok, it was poetry really, it was very emotional but i thought it was poetry, i could imagine u on Def Poetry doin that to a mellow beat

happy?
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Old 12-08-04, 07:55 PM   #5
Speats
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yah this is dope....you had more than one dope line seriously....reminds me of eminem style...keep dropping its dope
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Old 12-08-04, 07:58 PM   #6
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ThankYou

It was pretty deep, and I dnot know where It came from, But I like the ending.
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Old 12-08-04, 08:02 PM   #7
Macca
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lol dope sig. what ever but this was a dope drop. I say 8/10. It was good. Fuck the rating.
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Old 12-08-04, 08:14 PM   #8
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I don't get it
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Old 12-08-04, 08:20 PM   #9
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Good drop, nice flow, said vocally it rolls off the tounge lol. Imagery was good, could've been better judging by the type of situation, but then again it could've been told from many different perspectives, so it's all good. Overall I'd give it 8.5/10, keep up the good work
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ninth your a fucking idiot and im purposly spelling your name wrong...


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Old 12-08-04, 08:47 PM   #10
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Thanks man^

You know I try......
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Old 12-08-04, 09:05 PM   #11
R.E.D.
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good stuff good stuff.. i know what u be feelin..
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Old 12-08-04, 09:24 PM   #12
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Thanks man, appreciated snice you new.

Bumpin before I leave...
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Old 12-09-04, 09:55 AM   #13
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Bump Bump Bump.
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Old 12-09-04, 10:12 AM   #14
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This was a good piece...i liked the emotion in it...was a real god piece flow & struc was well wordplay was decent...8/10 keep it comin
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Old 12-09-04, 06:03 PM   #15
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Bumpin to the top hoes
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