I lost a GOOD friend, n i coulda stopped da whole thing...n i just had to write about it...peep it..

It was a cold night, rain fell, streets was soaked-
When a dark figure, bone face, pulled you in his cloak-
I tried to intervene, but you had already left-
Tears fell from my eyes as I pounded on your chest-
The phone rang, shortly after the medics came in-
I guess I forgot I dialed them when the demon came in-
I sat in the back, arms folded, one hand over my eyes-
Lips swollen, cheeks red, his life jerked away from mine-
God why did you have to take him, he wasn't ready yet-
You make me wanna die when i sleep, where's Freddy at-
Or where's Jason’s machete at, I can't find either-
Why must I suffer inhaling like nicotine breathers-
I still sit, still think, still miss the old times-
I wish I had a control on time so I could just rewind-
But I can't, now I just wish it were different-
Cause if I had the chance, I woulda traded places with you in an instant....

very touchin' piece.short n sweet.structure is good and content is good too.keep em comin'

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I'm like CHUCKy dyin' to live in the flesh free of the BATTERY,
ASSAULT n ROBBERY rapidly,wishin' cupid would clap at me
N lift this evil spell so I can experience happilly evil backwards-see(down there)
EVIL............backwards =............LIVE

thanx 4 da feed...uppin dis shit

yo lil C what up. nice work here. i liked it very emotional. if you hadnt already figured it out i am djb from groundbattles. we were mod together for like 5 days.lol. but i liked this a lot very emotional nice rhyme scheme and content good work.

deep as hell......i kno wut u mean i lost 2 people real close 2 me xcept i was young when it happened. keep droppin stuff like dis cuz its some of tha best i've seen.

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nice, good vibe, deep and serious, good content, gave realness and sadness of the story, easy to understand yet advanced enough, good flow and vocab, only criticism is I want more, give it a lil more length, nice drop though fo sho 8/10

would appreciate feedback returned, check threads in sig

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