this track will be on my mixtape....."Da Problem Child V.1".....i just aint done in mixing yet.....i gotta write a last verse.....

so i wanna ask yall to read dis and tell me if i should change something or not (tha beat is done, i produced) so i want feedback.....please

artist: Riot
track: Tha Flame
album: Da Problem Child-Mixatpe V.1

verse 1:
dat nigga Riot from tha D, liquor odor comin from my pores//
got my doggy tag on, fruit-of-tha-loom is on my drawls//
when hoes see me, all i see is open jaws//
i aint gone neva love anotha bitch, fuck em all//
its real murderous G shit, stop hatin//
tha only way yall can prevail is if my fuckin brain stop continplatin//
im spendin dough by tha pot, you want a demonatration?//
well here you go, check out my voicemails, tha banks is waitin//
ridin in Lac's got my ceaser cut in tha air//
got lil bustas sayin i got too much bread too fast, dats not fair//
and i aint even slangin drugs, nope i wont go there//
my dough come from real work, not tha way yall niggaz make fares//
im stone cold like tha austin in texas//
we got huge dreams nigga, like sellin out in vegas//
i gots tha blade close by just in case for tha hataz//
and if you insist you want it, then come and get it then nigga//(yeah!)

hook:
im kickin some of tha illest bars you eva heard (heard)//
got all these fuckin bitch made niggaz round here scurred (scurred)//
and i could give a shit less bout what yall say (say)//
im gone keep tha flame in me till my dying day (day)//
..::repeat 2x::..

verse 2:
im still here, still gutta, whats good?//
still changin tha flow up from tha hood//
so grime, so raw, so true//
still walkin up to hataz like what you gone do?//
im ready for rappin, lets get tha clappin//
lights...camera...and its time for some action//
its not no actin, hoe im true to this//
got more bars than downtown Chi-town and shit//
dis is more than a hit, nigga its more than a track//
got multiple ways to make sure i dont fall back//
i keeps my shit together and gets paid for dat//
you know how i gets down, im tha slickest cat//
sickest nigga in tha booth spittin nothin but tha truth//
im doin my thang like my name is babe ruth//
knockin flows out tha park like aint nothin dude//
and its all tha best nigga now fill my shoes!//

..::hook 2x::..

good lookin in advance yall.....4real

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

cmon people.....can i get some feedback please?

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

nice drop an great structure

__________________





LINKS TO MY SONGS:
http://www.soundclick.com/Car Shows...id=3438907&q=lo

Tha Battle (Tech Skillz Diss 2)
Tech Skillz Diss
Fuk Tha Rules

thanx my nig.....alright, i want some more feedback

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

__________________

SO DONE WIT RV

^maybe cuz...maybe^

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

this was a decent drop...some ok vocab..structure stayed good...overall 7/10...kepp em comin mayne...

return the favour ...

http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=171262

__________________

Living Legendz

I Promise Alot...But I Deliver Alot More...

...Topicals...

What Is Life?

Dark Disguise

thanx...i got you 4real

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

can i get more feedback on dis shit please!

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

cmon yall, stop sleepin...dont look and not post 4real

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.

cmon yall...lets get 2 it

__________________

Detroit PlayBoiz (DPB) 4 life nigga.....and im out

Money Fiend Ent.