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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
06-24-05, 04:07 PM
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#1
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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Flower Seeds
IP: F519 0F67
This is the rhythm of a flower's heart beat. Harmony off of the leaves where showered thorns be. Rain percipitates creating the different tastes Of man as he perceives what is to come of the seed. She'll be back. She'll be back... This watering hole Makes me Sure of it. Falsely, secure in it. And one day before I doze off I shall plant my seed.... That's my word. That's my seed. It's the love she's supposed to Hold for me. This is the timbre of the rose bud No love is greater than it's insufficient symbolism. Red Rose, the color of love Ambiguous in how it fits in. Color of love, Color of blood Drained from the corps From the ones we love. Once shed, once dead, Life is lost, and even yet We herald the appearance Of a rose's sanguine grace... Love Loss Wisdom Pain Place it in the window pane For the world to never look And see its shame... Created asexually I hold this rose Hold it contemplatively up to my nose. It knows not it's sweet stimulation Of the Olfactory sensation And yet we place it In the hands of whom we Intended to love. I am either in a stupor Or a little more sober Because I realize now my malaise. For she won't come back. Not to me. Not to see This sadness I'm in solely out of self pity. She is the whisper of a distant muted drum or saxaphone That's the whole tradgedy of a man alone. Jazz in a lonely place His own discrace Holding a rose truncated at its base The unintentional, ironic and ambiguous Symbol of Love Makes it's decision for you As each petal falls: She loves you not... She loves you not... She loves you not... She loves you not... And yet I still sit in the silence Between the petal falls And water my words With cheap wiskey Pitifully and swiftly Whispering Yes she does... Yes she does... Yes she does... Yes... I pray one day My tears become rain so I can sow the seed of love...
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The Council
 R.I.T.T Champion
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06-24-05, 04:16 PM
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#2
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New to RV
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IP: F95C 1B19
Really right now I feel speechless...I don't know the words to say that will do this poem justice. Any compliment I could come up with now would be an understatement. It was beautiful, the imagery, the emotion was remarkable. This is one of the best poetic pieces I've ever read on a forum. Your creativity and talent are one of a kind, make sure you do more with it and continue to share.
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...912#post2237912 ^^^ return the favor.
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"It's the knowledge of the youth untold Our roots ungrown, so when the truth unfolds You will realize and know it's me I told you my story through the eyes of poetry I ran for the light, darkness soon banned from my life And I'd be damned for the strife but I'm as deep as my words...so I AM what I write" - Prolific |
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06-24-05, 04:54 PM
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#3
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Middle Weight
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IP: 8A05 210E
damn duke i gotta say u got a nice flow on diz piece here keep writing metas, multi'z, & u stepped up on diz joint
__________________
 Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
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06-26-05, 06:42 PM
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#4
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
Uppin this bitch .......
__________________
The Council
R.I.T.T Champion
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06-27-05, 11:52 AM
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#5
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
yeah..i need some feed please people
__________________
The Council
R.I.T.T Champion
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06-27-05, 12:25 PM
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#6
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...
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IP: CF4E 8780
this was simply elegant in a poetry sense... each word played off the one before it and gave a story in itself i am really amazed by this wow your vocab was superb at first i thought the structure was going to throw me off but in the end it just added to the overall efect of the poem very nice
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Â-balam balam i treat yall like cans of spam Free Time...  I Live the Lifestyle You Want to Live Secret Society/Cut Throat |
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06-28-05, 10:40 AM
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#7
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[ a.k.a Os ]
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IP: F519 0F67
Thanks for the feed *bumpity bump*
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The Council
R.I.T.T Champion
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06-28-05, 11:35 AM
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#8
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Poet's Daughter.
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IP: 4DC7 DE51
I loved your structure...The style you used was good. The vocab was excellent. The emotion was the best aspect in your piece. the imagination was good too. Nice using your words. You painted a portrait. The meta'z was at it's best in this piece. Keep it up Leave feed on my poem called "Writer Block"...
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mystery Is a Freak!! ITawAPuddyKat: Yeah, I guess. But I won't be a Lesbo for life. Smartone Freal: oh so u DO have plans of turnin str8 ITawAPuddyKat: Well Yes, Yes I do. Smartone Freal:  ITawAPuddyKat: Lol, all smiles aren't we? Lol Smartone Freal: lol yea i cant hide what i think bout u Smartone Freal: ITawAPuddyKat: ...Oh, what DO you think about me? Lol Smartone Freal: lol sorry thats private ITawAPuddyKat: EWWWWWWW..*Sigged* Last edited by Tweety : 06-28-05 at 01:35 PM. |
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