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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
08-01-05, 10:30 PM
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#1
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Banned: Cheating
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multi mania
IP: 3240 794D
Picken up were i left off bein crazy like laura croft
Being lean mean big and serene i cant be caught Just like i was taught bang u out in a parking lot Give you disturbing thoughts end up wit blood clots Learned in the Marine ops Specialized cop Bein taken to the top Of the parking garage this aint no mirage im here to sabotage dressed in camouflage ready to barrage then give u a lavage Taken your organs cleaned them crystal shiney Got them feelin nice and soft just like ya mommas hiney Gone to serious to deleriuos features went from best seats in the house to nose bleed bleachers ............ |
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08-01-05, 10:35 PM
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#2
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
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08-01-05, 11:34 PM
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#3
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
uppin leave some feeedback please
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08-01-05, 11:55 PM
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#4
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Ill Nigga Alert.
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IP: 0825 899A
Hmmm...decent concept and topic here....Vocab was aight, wasnt really seein too much...Structure was good n all easy to read n shit like that...Could use better wordplay and words...And pretty much i would elevate alot manye...Also Make it longer for now on...overall- 4/10...Its cool dont worry hopefully you'll elevate and get better n all that...
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08-02-05, 12:20 AM
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#5
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 3240 794D
tthanks man apreeciate it a lot....still lookin fo rmore
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08-02-05, 12:34 AM
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#6
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IP: 0AE0 3B1A
Link doesnt work fix it or this will be closed
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The Competition
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08-03-05, 12:36 PM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
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08-03-05, 01:33 PM
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#8
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 119E 7433
uppin for more feed....
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08-03-05, 01:39 PM
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#9
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Odi et Amo
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IP: 10BC 0CC1
Concept was coo, ya got potential though because I can see your flow is on point already. Vocab can be improved as well as wordplay but it was already decent you know. Not really an emotional or imagery piece so can't really comment on that. Keep it up!!!
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Authentik Intelligence  ...The future is mine... |
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08-03-05, 03:17 PM
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#10
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+...Femin-iLL...+
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IP: 6E69 7B24
Since It Was Multi Mania...i guess yu were going for multis??....
If thats the fact...heres my break down: go for more than one word end rhymes....try to make two words Rhyme at the end....and, go for multi syllable rhymes....i seen yu do some of it...but, other parts had one syllable rhymes......if yu work on that, yu'll be str8 in multis
__________________
..:: Artik In The Phlesh::.. .Re-Writing The Re-Run.  |
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08-03-05, 03:22 PM
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#11
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 0825 899A
thanks man appreciate all feedback a lot thanks fam......still looking for more****please
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08-03-05, 07:02 PM
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#13
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 28AD 5545
apreciate it^^^ still looking for more
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08-03-05, 08:45 PM
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#14
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BeAnToWN rEp
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IP: 3240 794D
good shit....flow was good....vocab was ight....structure was pretty good....kinda short...but was good....keep writin and progressin....u got sum potential....
$$izno shady$$ |
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08-03-05, 08:51 PM
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#15
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Banned: Cheating
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IP: 28AD 5545
yo main id return the favor on ur om's but u dont have any...but feedback is much welcomed....keep it comen
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