Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio |
08-09-05, 06:28 PM | #1 | ||||
Champion
|
Tainted Soul - Intermental
IP: 0D68 4F7E
Intermental - Tainted Souls
Talking: Yo this is my confession, my soul is tainted, my picture is painted, Trigga Town stand up, yo its inter....holla Verse One: I sold my soul but didnt get my cash dawg, I Hold my own but it seems I jus fell off, Im living the dream but it seems like a nightmare, Im doomed too soon, to me it just aint fair, My future spells an early death as my fate, Its like im a helpless tadpole bein used as bate, Tom Jones planted the "bomb" but im labelled a terrorist "Look hes muslim hell kill me!!" Im tired of hearing this So understand me when I say my soul is tainted, Hang it in a frame my picture is painted, I look back at the photos but where am I,? Im the wanderin eye caught off sight, will I die Chorus: My heart, I console, but still I possess a tainted soul, My actions, I cant control, but I possess a tainted soul X3 Verse Two: Lord wipe my dirty slate and bless with a clean plate, A new start, A new beggining, cos all I feel is hate, Dnt matter how many niggas here, the white man rule the world, It disgusts me, how my people are forgotton like a slight blurr, Remember heaven is under the feet of the girl, The womens a gem so to me shes a shiny pearl, So we say bitch and ho to get their attention, Then we rape them, Lord I need the redemption, We gotta change our ways, my soul aint tainted Take it off the frame, my picture aint painted Lord Im dainted Chorus: My heart, I console, but still I possess a tainted soul, My actions, I cant control, but I possess a tainted soul X3
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-09-05, 06:29 PM | #2 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: 0D68 4F7E
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-09-05, 09:24 PM | #3 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: 0D68 4F7E
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-09-05, 10:30 PM | #4 | |||
|
IP: 2029 97B3
this was an alright piece. i liked the topic. your flow was kinda weird to me but it was still cool. the structure was good. your vocab wasnt too bad. it was alright to me. i give it a 6.
|
|||
08-09-05, 11:57 PM | #5 | ||||
Witness, 4 God, 4-Ever
|
IP: 4686 AB07
feelin this, one of your best, emotion was very high liked that, flow was good, keep it up man
__________________
i come from a time when you earned respect, for your rhyme and the way you made words connect, not the money that you made or the girls you sexed, a concept you obviously haven't heard of yet Mars Ill
|
||||
08-10-05, 01:27 AM | #7 | |||||
Banned: Cheating
|
IP: 0825 899A
^^^NIce imagery, good concept...like this piece a lot props to you "stands up and praises intermental" i had a good flow goin wit this nice structure...up on multis a bit vocab was in place nothing to complain about......felt tha emotion dawg....nice job........rtf on my links in the sig if u would please
|
|||||
08-10-05, 11:01 AM | #8 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: B35C 67BD
Thanks alot Christianite, Reflekt, Messenger and Taz...that means alot to me...Taz ill RTF now
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-10-05, 01:28 PM | #9 | ||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: CF74 5D3A
Painted on scrolls along with tainted souls even got
Acquainted with foes the stress have made me fainted a lot Oh well I’m at a hotel for the night room lights are bright On problem my blank butt is bankrupt just the price is fright Need cash and income and then some so INTERMENTAL Throw me some doe I’m in the center of south Central My plan very false and sweet like cranberry sauce but It won’t pay the bill they may kill me as lost and corrupt That sound not checking out wrecking no doubt so I’m climbing out the window see you |
||||||
08-10-05, 01:31 PM | #10 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: B35C 67BD
what are you talkin bout man...dont u get it dont write lyrics in other peoples OM's make ure own....
dayum man dnt make me beat you 5-0 again
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-10-05, 06:34 PM | #11 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: 7B6F 73CE
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-10-05, 08:57 PM | #12 | ||||
Miss Me?
|
IP: 3240 794D
Not a bad drop at all bro. Your topic was good. Sorta some Tupac - Changes shit. But you mixed it up and it went well. What you did lack though was some indeph writing. You basically told me the outskirts of what happened. Go deeper. The deepest you can and youll have an amazing OM. Your flow was good. Your emotion was there but could have been felt more. Imagery was decent. Still needed some work. Vocab wasnt half bad. Work on that. You have the basics of a good OM down. Now go deeper into it and make it amazing. Keep writing and youll get it down. Especially your rhyme scheme. Work on using internals to flow better. Keep elevating and writing.
__________________
That Old School Mother Fucker Aint That A Bitch? Crhyme Sindicate
|
||||
08-10-05, 09:12 PM | #13 | ||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: 8A05 210E
yea playa i gotta say i like diz piece u got good vocab very surprising & intense piece here from u multi'z, imagery, strucutre was tha only thang seemed a lil off but otha den dat keep writing & droppin dez type of pieces
__________________
Choose words carefully when you address me
You ain't gotta like me, but you're gonna respect me (Or else) or else you get wet like a jigsknee Take ten of these and live, that'll impress me |
||||
08-10-05, 09:13 PM | #14 | ||||
Champion
|
IP: 7B6F 73CE
Thanks alot that was the best advice Ive ever got...thanks alot...I really appreciate it
__________________
www.soundclick.com/dollaback
|
||||
08-10-05, 10:40 PM | #15 | ||||||
Middle Weight
|
IP: CF74 5D3A
look I'm a guy in doubt so i cry out in a loud voice and made a proud choice to diss INTERMENTAL//, but he couldn't return fire he burn with desire to be a rapper// oh well i invited him to class he was an excited dim ass hard to teach a retard freak even a Saint Bernard speak better by just saying bow wow// my style attract him as the facts stem like encyclopedias from news medias// stayed at my house a week because i was aroused from my sleep by a wannabe yall
|
||||||
Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
Display Modes | |
|
|