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Old 10-04-05, 03:57 PM   #1
DQ
Odi et Amo
 
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Posts: 3,675
From: Alosta City
Cry Together featuring Chief

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Prolly first audio I post on here and one of first I done...so don't be too harsh, hehe nah but please post CONSTRUCTIVE criticsm. Thank you


Cry Together feat. Chief

First verse: Chief
Second and third: me (and yes I know my mic is shitty lmao)
Beat: New B Productions


Links of feedback
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2436910
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2436933
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Old 10-04-05, 04:14 PM   #2
Implicit
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listening now

im lovin the sample in the beginning. the beat is real nice.

chief on the first verse - quality isnt the best. its good enough though. lyrically this was pretty good. your voice sounded kinda boring though. your flow was on for the most part. it lacked a chaneg up of any sort. a few times you slipped. is that an accent i hear?


DQ -

1st verse - i like your lyrics on this one. and yes quality sucks. a lot of pops. but i can still hear what youre saying. a few times your flow slipped. nothing too bad though.

2nd verse - your flow kinda sounded weird. like you said some words in slow motion. but you still rode the beat. lyrically again this was pretty good. emotion was semi there. pretty good though


overall this was a pretty good track. but i think i liked the beat more than what you were saying.

oh yeah DQ our song will be up shortly. and can u leave some feed on my track "Persevere"
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Old 10-04-05, 04:15 PM   #3
~Lady Fiya~
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Chief you got better presence than I heard from you before... And you wayy more clear than usual. Just back up from the mic a little. Your emotion was pretty decent, your delivery was kinda laid back.. which is nice for this beat. Drama Queen, your mic was making a lotta noise, sound like pops outta nowheres, I like both your verses.. but you put your emotion in the wrong spaces, like youd stress the beginning and end of your bars when you don't have to... your flow was kinda shaky, your bars would start off fine but then you rush in extra words. Altogether not too bad, kiddies. Keep working at it.
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Old 10-04-05, 04:18 PM   #4
DQ
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Thanks for the constructive feedback, appreciate it from both of you!

And Implicit, I'll return the favor on your track tomorrow if that's okay...I'm sleepy now...
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Old 10-04-05, 04:46 PM   #5
E.C
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iite..

ive always like this beat lol

chief ive never realyl been feeling your music before.. but this is iight man you've improved alot since i last heard you.. lyrics are kool flow is pretty nice emotion is kool for this type of track samples in this are ill.. your verse was pretty short.

ahh dq.. see you were never as shit as me when i was new.. i like your verse lyrics are decent.. flow is nice. theres loadsa poppin in this.. put a sock over ya mic... i love your voice lol... ite second verse same as first.. decent flow kool lyrics.. .breathe control is ite.. emotion is ok but could do wit uppin it seems like your reading them as you spit try to learn your words a bit..... you'll start to sound more confortable when u do that

overall pretty decent song... its a chilled song i think... both were good on this... dq jus get a better mic

good job peeps
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Old 10-04-05, 04:50 PM   #6
PrahJect
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soundclick is not workin for me...I will peep this tommorow
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Old 10-04-05, 04:55 PM   #7
PrahJect
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ok its workin now.....lovin the sample on this...heard this before...iite chief youre on, quality is meh, flow is pretty good so far, nice flow nice lyrics, but not much emotion....rite now its DQ, lmao u sound like UNF..sorry UNF not tryin to hate on u but jus playin round...lyrics pretty good, this is more spoken word rather than a song, likin the concept...2nd verse pretty good...keep it up...6.5/10
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Old 10-04-05, 05:23 PM   #8
PrahJect
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Old 10-06-05, 11:02 AM   #9
Mad Dog
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honestly...not feelin this track...i don't like the beat majorly...i mean it's ok but not my style...Chief...you sound like ya speech is impeded somehow...flow is ok...but emotion is lazy not laid back...delivery was ok but re-wordin a few bars woulda been cool to enhance flow...

DQ...lol...1st time on the mic?...no?...well it sounds like it coz you're on a monotone level i can actually picture you standin there absolutely still and the only thing movin is ya mouth...emotion needs to be upped...don't be scared on the mic...vocally u sound aight jus get vocal tones right...it's harming your flow...blatantly sounds like you readin...but if you chose to read ya lyrics...don't read them feel them...also get to grips wit breath control...you'll need to improve that...writing style is a major fact in style...try and write around your style...

but overall improvement still needed by both cats keep droppin
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Old 10-06-05, 12:44 PM   #10
DQ
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Thanks for feedback, not first time on the mic though but I do feel previous times, things worked out bit better. But thanks for ya help, definitely appreciate it.
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Old 10-07-05, 05:54 AM   #11
Mad Dog
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drama Queen
Thanks for feedback, not first time on the mic though but I do feel previous times, things worked out bit better. But thanks for ya help, definitely appreciate it.


It's no problem i thought i'd give my honest opinion instead of the usual "nice track RTF on this" crappy feedback...you got good vocals for rapping/singing you jus need to work on your confidence when it comes to being on the mic thass all...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief
M.D thanks for the feed...
...i don't need to "improve" i wrote, flowed.etc to the beat...it's perfect...
...it's your opinion though so props on that...
but i don't need to improve...


Well L.M.A.O @ that...ya flow fell off in a few places...the end bar was stretched...ya pronounciation resembled someone with a bunged up nose...and yo...everyone needs to improve...improving yourself is the truest way to elevate...if you think you're at ya peak now...then you seriously need to re-think...to say...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief
i don't need to improve


...is quite ignorant really sumthin i'd expect 50 to say to allhiphop.com lol...

and no not hate...i'm jus re-stating my opinion...

i'm not saying both party's are wack...i jus pointed out spots where improvment was needed...thats feedback
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Originally Posted by High Dro
furthermore, june 3rd is the only good day to be born

^ Amen Brother ^

Quote:
Originally Posted by ∆ P E X X
i'm still tryin to figure out how bein born in another country makes somebody fake.

R.I.P OMB

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Old 10-06-05, 03:21 PM   #12
Dabatos
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hmmm DQ made a song? WOAH lol.. i gotta listen to this wen i get home
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Old 10-06-05, 04:03 PM   #13
ILL GEE
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the beat was a monster... i woulda rode the hell outta that shyt!!!.. now to the verses..

chief:kinda wierd hearing ya flow... sound like some lines were forced to fit on the beat... pretty clear for the most part but some words were hard to make out... flow was ehhhh but i've heard lots worse... try memorizing ya lines and practice flowing on the beat before recording... it'll help tremendously...

DQ: flow was all over the place... extra rhyming lines here and there... not bad.. not great... you commented on ya mic... mine is shitty too... no worries...lol... good effort... fix ya accents... decent track that shoulda been pure fire!!!
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Old 10-06-05, 07:03 PM   #14
Willa
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chief layed back i like it not much emotion but it was still good good flow
dq flow could use work good lyrics though work on emotion but not bad
overall decent rack whered u get the beat
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Old 10-07-05, 06:40 AM   #15
Terumoto
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chief
^This is the way i rap point blank...don't try to school me on elevation......


What kind of atittude is that?

In reality your verse on this track was far from perfect... In fact it was far from alright. You cant just say "I dont need to improve, my flow, lyrics, and delivery were all perfect." Mad Dog was giving his honest opinion on how you can get better, and he gave good advice and feedback... If you dont learn to realise your mistakes, how are you ever going to improve?
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