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10-16-05, 12:19 PM | #1 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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Death Of A Respected Rival (Nos look inside)
IP: 3240 794D
Death Of A Respected Rival
This neglected foe, radiant of an sceptic glow Pressure low, breathes deep, but his breaths are slow He expects to go, chest fill'd, redirects the flow He awaits his death, he's scared, but accepts it thoh It's regreted so, reminist, now depression shows How his rival lies in the mist, much respect is shown Detest the tone, shallow fate, now he's left alone The hate brought them together, it was best to grow His rest is prone, to silence, from aggressive moans Adjust his soul, buries rival, then he bless'd his home Next he romes, impressed, his next step is known Collects the dust of time, as he corrects his throne this was a collab i did its nothing special ehh........i wanna see what kinda feed i get it only took me bout 20 mins when i did it so ya kno ehhh.....whateva
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crhyme sindicate
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10-16-05, 12:43 PM | #2 | ||||
Miss Me?
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IP: E09E F175
The flow was crazy. As was your rhyming. You were just on point in it. The storyline was good and you stayed on it. My favorite aspect of this was the rhyming. It was perfect. The imagery was cool. Same with your vocab. Just an overall nice complete piece! Hit the link in my sig and RTF
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That Old School Mother Fucker Aint That A Bitch? Crhyme Sindicate
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10-16-05, 01:20 PM | #3 | ||||||
Coming to Kill you All
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IP: CFF8 2364
Flow was good...but everything else about it sucked.
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10-16-05, 07:11 PM | #4 | ||||
I Chill in Asylums
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IP: 448F 3D8E
I thought that this was pretty dope for such a short verse. My favorite part like L.I. said was the rhyming. Vocab and flow were really good. Ur structure was great too.
My favorite bar was: "Next he romes, impressed, his next step is known" "Collects the dust of time, as he corrects his throne" Why? I just liked the way u said and it flowed very nice for an ending. Peace. Hope u return the favor |
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10-16-05, 08:32 PM | #5 | ||||
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IP: 31C2 62EB
Drop two links or this will be closed
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The Competition
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10-16-05, 10:01 PM | #6 | |||
-BTR-
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IP: 2029 97B3
^nooo!!!! don't do it.
Ayo this was tight though. TL reppin. Nice flow. |
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10-17-05, 08:07 AM | #7 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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IP: 3240 794D
not really look'n fo this to stay open ya'll can close this if ya like no mattas to me
and N. Killa...................keep ya comments to ya self if you can't say nothing nice lmao this piece contain all the critical components of a good writing which is........ Emotion Imagry Vocab Multies(which made it flow well) and it kept consistant to the story and topic but w/e im pretty sure your post makes you nice.........lol Here's a hint.............^^^that comment above contains this lil thing called Sarcasm.......enjoy yaself
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crhyme sindicate
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10-17-05, 08:32 AM | #8 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
yeah this was nice flow and the multis was nice could've made it more real by coming off the vocab a bit but everything else was nice doe nice imaery
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10-17-05, 08:37 AM | #9 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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IP: 3240 794D
http://community.rapverse.com/showt...d=1#post2492391
Lost in the music http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=210500 Stuck in Shallow Water
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crhyme sindicate
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10-18-05, 03:47 PM | #10 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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IP: 3240 794D
ups for feed.............
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crhyme sindicate
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10-21-05, 09:55 AM | #11 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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IP: 28AD 5545
...................................up
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crhyme sindicate
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10-22-05, 12:21 AM | #12 | |||||
Bonecrushing Nigga
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IP: F64A F0A4
They aint callin him mr. multi for nothin..
^WTF??
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Guess who?... ...Paramik Fuckin'...
...Owns You! ||RVS Text Champion||
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10-22-05, 12:27 AM | #13 | |||||
The Topical Juggernaut
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IP: 5E81 7A12
Would like it better if it were longer bro.
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Blow It - Topical -=Respect List=-
Crhyme Sindicate The unexamined life is not worth living.
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10-22-05, 02:13 AM | #14 | ||||||
Light Weight
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IP: CF74 5D3A
For dinner had beef because candy’s bad for teeth
Shook and hidden over books I’ve written as chief Of rhyme have to face a thief sometime and that’s bazaar Catch hell from critics and they’re parasitic belong in jars With lid tight this kid write ill stuff, drink beer foam in bars Try to have a plan great like a landscape so talk to an architect On how to march correct and identify script keep your heart in check Bring the butter this is lyrical toast and spiritual toast for breakfast |
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10-22-05, 02:48 AM | #15 | ||||
Within Eternity's Wither
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IP: 3646 9BE4
are you suppose to be affecting me?...........cuz your not especially by post'n that BS all the time....................sigh..........do you need some type of attention or a hug? let me guess your upset cuz you wasn't loved as a child and neva knew how to express your feelins to the opposite sex so your pretty much turned out gay.............now stop being worsome and fuck off.......
up'n for more feed
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