by. Gngsta Kim
Life Is..

To Avoid punishment or the loss of love
is a passive position in attempt to cope.
I chose to deny the game we play
is lets pretend and pretend were not pretending.
I chose to forget who we are then forget i have forgoten.
WHO ARE WE REALLY?
But we are in reality free
a center of cosmic energy
Your will is your power
dont pretend you dont have it .............. or you wont...........

BY THE WAY IT ISNT SUPOSTA RHYME!!!
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=213517
http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=211072

Ok.

This piece is ok. I think you tried to force a good bit of your lines that rhymed. I mean, it was straight but it seemed as if the ones you wanted to rhyme, may have been a bit forced.

Your vocab was good, it fit in with the piece. The one thing I dont understand is, the overall picture. You were king of here and there. Life is.... and you went on about random things such as finding love.

Overall good piece. The structure was off, but, it flowed in its own way.

about a 4/10 drop.

- Thanks.

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- Chryme Syndicate -

so
- S T F U -

it wasnt meant to rhyme actualy.....and i couldnt think of a title and class was ending so i just called it life is... but w/e it was what it was it ant suposta rhyme so take it..........

yea imma have to agree w/ him.....i mean....dis was short but yet sweet pretty much......up on ya vocab; da structure was def WAY off.....but hey itz ok...it'll happen once in a while....overrall iight piece....5/10

thanx . i know it wasnt that great...... iv wrote way better ..

uppin for feed back..............

yea...really short..but KIND of got 2 tha point...but seriously don' connnect w/ tha title....u need more imagery and similies/metaphors 2 spice it up
]
5/10...

return tha favor

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