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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
04-04-03, 09:40 PM
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#1
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Guest
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'Hidden passions Under Fire'
IP: ABE5 5A5C
He lay beneath deep sorrow while it withered away...
The love inside his soul was so unbearable to control that he...cried himself to sleep that night... He lay beside his pillow with no anticipation of tomorrow... They always said his heart lie on his shoulder... Bewildered with misconceptions of the truth he vowed never to love again...Nothing was worth what he felt... For the whole damnednation brought this upon itself... A young adolescent scrutinized by the laws of love fell into the pit of flames within his dark dreams... Why...you ask...His heart lie chaffed from his shoulder down to the ground... Late at night he lay beside his bed and looks at a single frame...the frame of glutiny that was bestowed upon him... The fire lay crackling beside him... Thoughts of him moving on drowned in his early sorrows... As his mind raced he thought love was a complete waste and disgrace...all at the same time... Flung from his hand the frame of glutiny crackled along with the late night fire... He hid his lost love under the now wrotten desire... The fire now possessed his newly lost passion... The passion of love withdrew and his heart grew cold... ___ ......??? Last edited by SmoothCrmnl : 04-09-03 at 04:38 PM. |
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04-06-03, 12:37 AM
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#2
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Guest
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
uppin for comments
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04-06-03, 10:07 AM
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#3
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New to RB
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IP: 8D88 8B51
i can mos def relate/
emotions were pure respect for that/ keep preaching truth & be peaceful
__________________
Illuminating Dark Places In Your Mind ~P.oetic I.ntelligence~ Blaqmoon Brownsun www.underlinedmagazine.com chi-town |
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04-06-03, 12:30 PM
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#4
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
.ey dawg thanx 4 the comments
..i respect all of what u said- ...emotion comes from within ..da hunnet |
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04-06-03, 04:52 PM
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#5
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Guest
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IP: 1466 7895
thas deep...
 keep ya shit tight niggga! |
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04-06-03, 07:29 PM
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#6
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The Real American Idol
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IP: 4577 CD9A
that was nice man. deep and with alot of emotion...keep up
__________________
Go ahead. Turn your back on me. Thats when I punch you in the back of your head. Faggot. Fuck wit me once, shame on you. Fuck wit me twice, youre dead. |
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04-06-03, 09:54 PM
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#7
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
thanx 4 da comments ya'll..fashow
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04-07-03, 12:31 AM
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#8
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IP: 0A08 20B8
im feelin this, keep it up nigga
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04-08-03, 12:19 AM
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#9
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Guest
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IP: ABE5 5A5C
thanx X-i am doin my thizzle-u know i give it my all...sometimes..
uppin 4 mo..i am gonna try and write a new one this weekend |
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04-08-03, 02:19 PM
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#10
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IP: 3AA1 85DF
I'm a tad new to the poetry forum but this was deep I felt a lot of emotion in between the lines ya know, I got a lot out of this is was a nice piece i hope to see more from you
*~Holler~* |
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04-10-03, 07:22 PM
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#11
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IP: 9028 5954
yo smooth this was nice man...hella better than mine...lol...i just gotta do alot better vocab with good wrods and stuff....ures was the shit...keep it up PAYCE
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