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Old 05-07-03, 08:49 PM   #1
Bloomquist
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For the love of the mic

IP: A0A0 0AAF

Makin these lyrics in open doors/
expressin my feelings with similies and metaphors/
might not seem like a poem, but is a bird a dove?/
aint got a girl, so rap is what i love/
wish i had someone to love me,someone to care, and take hold of me/
Grew up blind in darkness but rap let me see/

Horrible memories of shootings and death/
The devil breathing down my back, evil in his breath/
Didn't have anything, cept an un-paid bill/
crazy headaches but couldnt afford advil/
Gonna grow up,hopefully meet someone and get a wife/
I do this for the love of the mic, This is a story of my life/

Hey made this up plz be honest and tell me what i need to improve on. And YES it is a poem, even if it isn't about love.Thx yall peace out.
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Old 05-07-03, 08:50 PM   #2
Bloomquist
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uppin for replies ill be on later
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Old 05-07-03, 11:44 PM   #3
ThatDamBoone
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damn du, u coudnt afford advil? daaaaaamn
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Old 05-08-03, 11:59 AM   #4
Bloomquist
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not lookin for those comments lookin for comments on my poem plz uppin for em thx
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Old 05-09-03, 12:03 PM   #5
Bloomquist
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uppin!
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Old 05-10-03, 09:35 AM   #6
Akira
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try using more multi's..you have nice flow. i feel ya poem.
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Old 05-10-03, 04:45 PM   #7
shiznit
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hmmm...personally i didnt like this one but its good....if u just focus on other things more and use like vocabs and concepts that would make ur piece lyrically hott...

u have talent and i know u can make ur verses better!
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Old 05-10-03, 10:35 PM   #8
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thx shiz and akira and ya im trying to make em better

uppin
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