I sit around midnight
yelling at the screen
demanding answers from people
who cant see or hear me
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
speak for yourself
they commit slow suicide
as they drink to their health
i laugh at my wittiness
enjoy my temporary glee
take comfort in the fact that
ive got an extra year of misery
not knowing whats in store
it all comes down to the moment
I had the whole hour before
but I chose to disown it
for not being like it was
on TV
as the panic's
strickening
the countdown
hits 17
how much
longer
will this life
tolerate me?
as the masses
look to the sky
anticipating
THIS IS IT!
a girl with a hungry look in her eyes
just waiting to be kissed
not aware of the consequence
dire
i stare into the one eyed monsters soul
as the sky lights on fire
I start to lose control
my head outweighed by my eyelids
remembering my mom's voice
SAFETY FIRST!
then violence
I decided
to follow the trend
and enact a climax
of my own
the gun blast drowns out their claps
as I go to commercial
the world gets...
WELCOME BACK!

Great flow, I almost felt myself slide with you while reading this.. Like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle fitting together, thats the only way I can describe it lol

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thanks for the input TOURNIQUET
any other feedback would be appreciated

if u don't wanna be a paranoid little fuck, get the fuck outside, it aint fuckin healthy to stay inside all the god damn tmie

*points to top*
plz read that
and feed back

Choppy flow, but it was intentional and it works. Subject matter is a bit too shrouded for me, I'm not sure what you're trying to convey. It didn't help that it had a rather mundane vocabulary either.

It was pretty decent overall though.

~Shalom~

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Quote:

Originally posted by Bruklor Nec is just dumb

I'm taking that as a compliment.