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Old 11-20-03, 09:22 PM   #1
Supreme Da Ghost
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Freestyle!!!

IP: 6C10 AFD5

yea .......uh......iight.... feel me!!!

let me get it crackin//
set it on these bitches//
for actin//
pistol whipp'em//
take all of there possesions//
then clap'em//
skate off in da Ac//
an put da heat-up at stash//
switch -up whips//
head back to da scene//
in time to see'em//
zip-ur ass-up in da bagg//
how many bodies is it gonna take//
to show yall I dont plat dat//
lil Bobby tried to robb me//
took him for a ryde outta-state//
dat he aint ever make back//
Molly brotha Bud from downtown//
got gased//& pulled out on me//
made me get down//
but i aint have nuttin but a bag a weed on me//
3 weeks later//downtown// this nigga gets snuffed-out//
jaw all-wired shut//cuz da gun-butt//
shattered his mouth//when shout ur hood out//
sounds like ur faggots dat proud//
homo-style nigga dat pack a gat//
we all know ur style//
bend-over an take it from da back//
Da Ghost//i could flow for hours//
but iam gonna go lay a new track//
ONE
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Old 11-20-03, 09:33 PM   #2
WORD~PERFECT
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DONT LIKE THIS STYLE BUT YOU DID A DECENT ASS JOB ON IT IT WASNT BAD ATA LL
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Old 11-21-03, 08:54 AM   #3
self
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Hey, can you post up who you replied to?
Rules Thread Link - More Information On It Can Be Found Here
Thanks Man.
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Old 11-21-03, 08:58 AM   #4
Funn DementaLL
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The structure too simple but I can see the potential in you an ya'll won't take too olng to elevate. concentrate more on wordplay, multi's an methophores... us open mic heds love em'

Please return the favour an lay a vote down on my battle...

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=92451

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Old 11-21-03, 09:53 AM   #5
Trah Siph
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need to extend bars......usually people need to shorten but you need to lengthen and think of ya flow a lot...........have a subject matterv to write about
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Old 11-21-03, 02:17 PM   #6
Supreme Da Ghost
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thanx for da tips i appreciate it iight
Ghost
ONE
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Old 11-21-03, 02:38 PM   #7
KLINIK
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agreeing with all the above up there .. drop too simple .. try adding a little bit of vocabs but not too much .. it'll just be boring .. wordplay would be nice .. if you try adding mluties .. it'll make it a real nice read .. it wasn't all that good .. but it wasn't that bad .. just keep workin .. get at me! ay! peep my sig and return the favor!
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Old 11-21-03, 03:01 PM   #8
2hOt4tV
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Hot Shit,but i bet ur flow is betta on longer lines, u know what i mean dOg, keep elevatin'...............~1~

Reply my oPen Mic like i Did PLeAse
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=93181
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Old 11-21-03, 11:58 PM   #9
LoCo
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i liked it
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Old 11-22-03, 12:15 AM   #10
High Class
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Yea, its straight. Just extend your lines, and work on ya vocab. then you will be straight, aight homie? there is alot more, but those can really help, with a good topic of course. Nice drop.

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Old 11-22-03, 12:29 AM   #11
SavingGrace
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Hope u dont mind if i free in ya post//
droppin betta shit than rest or tha most//
superb lyrics flowin like a pen does ta paper//
i should make some CD's stamped wit my label//
i attack like a vivacious pitbull trained for battle//
Ridin on you like a horse w/ no saddle//
so much ill in my flow u cant even figure//
on youl like some brand new hilfiger//
I aint have to push Rocks, like no fuckin tractor//
sellin green on the scene aint no damn factor//
this simple rhyme shit is drivin me crazy//
bitch who you mess with? Dont try to play me.......


Go ahead, i wanna know how i did for my first rap post
SG
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Old 11-24-03, 11:47 AM   #12
Quelude
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I think that one should not concentrate as much on complexity as one should ocus on getting their point across. I like the simplicity. I don't care for the content, I doubt that you really thuggin. I been in the streets and just from the scenarios you put out there I can tell they are recycled from your past movie and television experiences. Along with a lil bit of typical "mini mack" rap style it makes for a bad read to most, keep trying though, be more creative, and say something from the soul.
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