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11-26-03, 10:22 AM | #1 | ||||||
Flyweight
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Keystyle for Suicide
IP: 4577 CD9A
Here's some shit about suicide and ghettho life. Check this:
When I die I wonder what'll happen to me Will I fly straight up to heaven or like someone pretendin' to be Go straight to hell, I'll never tell of my sorrow Sittin' there wonderin' will I be alive tomorrow My insides are all tied, I never cried Or gave up my pride, never shot a nigga up just for the fuckin' East Side As I sat and watched, a family died in front of my eyes Nothin' but lies, and destroyed lives Cut through a mans life like a hot hot knives I'm tyin' to survive, keep my head up I'm sick of drivebys and blowin' nigga houses sup' I gotta escape my opwn body and go to a better place No more meaningless sex and panties covered in lace I hold a pistol with a bullet, my hand on the trigga Tell my mom I went straight outta life like a prideful nigga
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The Madman Breakdancer in Brooklyn |
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11-26-03, 10:38 AM | #2 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 399E F0FD
Give me some feedback so I can improve
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The Madman Breakdancer in Brooklyn |
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11-26-03, 12:43 PM | #3 | |||||||
New to RB
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IP: DC4B D8F1
aight dawg.....I felt tha realness in this piece howeva....I felt U could've delivered ur lines in a more artistic way cause they seemed rather cliche (no hate) jus how it is...jus be more creative but otherwise it was an ok piece!!
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Bringin FAKE ass niggaz da 'Business' |
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11-26-03, 01:40 PM | #4 | |||||||
one wink
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IP: B691 B3C4
Hey, can you post up who you replied to?
Rules Thread Link - More Information On It Can Be Found Here Thanks Man. |
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11-26-03, 02:01 PM | #5 | |||||||
Drop Of Genius
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IP: 68B3 CE04
This seemed very very basic. I couldnt picture a beat to rap this too. That was a major flaw. However it did come from the heart and that always helps bring your marks up.
For once I agree with DAARK (fuckin dickhead) by sayin you need to be more creative. OK but you need to practice....keep writin. 6/10 |
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11-26-03, 03:00 PM | #6 | ||||||
Flyweight
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IP: 399E F0FD
Thanks for the positive feedback. I was just tryin' to clear this off my mind.
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The Madman Breakdancer in Brooklyn |
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11-26-03, 03:44 PM | #7 | |||||||
Flyweight
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IP: D85C 59A5
That was off the hook. That would be great lyrics to put a beat to. You speak for a lot of us man. That truly was a good. can you check out forever my homie
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Let God speak for the underground Psalm 49 16-17 16 Do not be overawed when a man grows rich when the splendor of his house increases 17 For he will take no thing with him when he dies, his splendor will not descend with him 18Though while he lived he counted himself blessed - and men praise you when you prosper- 19 He will join the generation of his fathers, who will never see the light of life 20 A man who has riches without understanding is like the beasts that perish |
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11-27-03, 02:39 AM | #8 | ||||
Word.
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IP: 63D7 39EF
This was alright man.....the flow was pretty decent, try adding some more multies and internals to help that out though, it got off at a few spots so try adding that to it.....The structure was alright watch the line length though....overall this was alright keep at it and keep dropping.
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