topic: Capital punishment

Due date: dec 12th
Vote ends: dec 15th

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SOFT FOCUS crew record (3-0) Wits end ~ DOI ~ Central....now who's next?
sacred scriptures record (5-0)

Checkin In...

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If he doesnt check in on time, do you still want me to drop?
Or just drop a verse either way?

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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~Capital Punishment~

( Present Moment )
The Viewers are clapping and laughing at this site
No Movement of my body, my phsyic pale and so tight
Bright lights seam farther, lost thoughts of love for my father
Emotions 'n' Sences come back, faulsly accused of slaughter...
Im awake... Reavealed to know that this is my fate
Strapped down, this must be punishment for all my mistakes
The liquid from the needle slides it-self back into the container
My death bed clothes, un-rinkle climbing back onto the hanger
Now im waiting, pacing myself from forth-to-back
Having nervous shakings, now time seems to relapse
My last meal drops from my mouth, to the fork then the plate
Then it goes cold and gets sent back dusty, inside the crate
Im peddeling back to my cell, asking the lord many questions
ex-hale 'n' en-hale... When that stops, earned will be my lesson..

( 2 Months Earlier )
Tears seak back into my eyes of lie's and the deprived
Judge taking back all his words, brocken promises to imprevise
Back to the interigation room, where the moon slowly reversed
Questions taken back, answer's then became re-hearsed
It was then a quike scribble of guns, cops, and myself in the middle
Now there retreating at a pace, rewinding my riddle...

( 3 Nights Befor )
Her Body Drops, slow like a T/V in its slow mode
Bullets are climbing back into the shaft, and the clip begins to re-load
Now back in the car, Inches are now being added to the cigar
Plots held at a steady pace, Thoughts have gone way to far...
So now the car roles back down the hill, and backs into the drive-way
Talking slurr's in the living room, Trying to get it done my way...

( Present Moment: Words Befor Shot )
But he came to kill her, I didnt do it...

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( This story was told backwards, starting from his punishment. There are plenty of things in here simblifying that. Somthing diffrent from me, hope everyone likes it... And he better show up... This guy was also faulsly accused of shooting a ladie down. If you pay attention you will see it, and know it was his friend who plotted the whole thing, did it, and draged this guy along )

OUT

-High Class a.k.a Confusion

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checkin in and spittin later

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sigs are for herbs...Thats why I got one!

spittin my verse.........................illness............. .....

.................................................. .................................................. ..

Sittin in the corner of the room...Darkness engulfs the light
Nothin but emptyness...Cannot see,stuck in eternal night
Can't even fight back...My captators dictate my everymove
In the rest of my life...Lookin back on this situation makes me lose
My sanity, my mental state...Memories grind and begin to grate
On my motives for enterin this war, Protectin the country of the great?
They don't even care bout me...don't know the pain I have felt
At the hands of the Iraqi's, a P.O.W gets the pain I have been dealt
Corporal Punishment don't even describe what I've been Thru
They've electricuted me and my friends...John and Dave ain't pulled thru
Their bodies still litter the darkened room...I can smell them decay away
Can't wait til the moment my captors let me meet the day
But that's not possible...My death here is highly probable
And me survivin on one meal a day and savage beatings,My stay is not applicable
As they enter my darkned tomb I get the urge to fight back
I stand up from my pretended slumber and the all I feel is WHACK!!!
Torch across the back of my head...I think I'm losin consiousness
Feelin dizzy, feelin queezy,They throw my meal,My escape is hopeless
N all I can do is wait til the search party is sent out for rescue
But Tell me how would ya feel if in this place it was U?
So over the days no-one came, I'll be sleyn if I don't devise a plan
I decided I'll hard in the shadows...jump out to they're surprise...BAM!!!
Uppercut to his nose, I felt it crush underneath my weakened, Wilted arm
I crept out the door but the Dogs got my legs in a grip,Doin the tendoms harm
I fight em off get passed the gate...Shit, I have broke loose?...
Nah, they re-capture now they parade me on camera wit my neck in a noose
But any day now I know, The search party will find me dead or alive
I don't care just wanna see my wife n son, if only one last time.............................................. ................



Done

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sigs are for herbs...Thats why I got one!

upping this, votes are needed.

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Life isn't a bitch...
she's just sick of being personified -Sage Francis

High Class---you had a good verse some good indepth lines and descriptions but i dont think you held onto the topic as well as you could have, good read and writ though well done

Nok' You had an excellent verse, you caught the readers attention right off the start, you made this come alive and picture the scrambling sometimes i fell off like high class for instance i thought in one line you were already out...and then you started tellin about the exscape...but at the end the last 8 line you really grabbed me and kept my focus

Overall Nok' had a more complex verse, and a more enjoyable verse I felt he had some more emotion...that end line was empressive I didnt suspect that, but close battle

Vote Nok

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Open Mics
The Weathers Art
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=108673
My Teenage Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...threadid=104850
Secluded
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...851#post1148851
Open Your Eyes
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...461#post1157461

damn.....wasnt expectin that from high class, ok drops by both.........tha breakdown:

high class- rhyme scheme: 6.5, flow: 7.5, story: 8, total: 22

i lyked tha way you flipped it....even though you did pull sum Nas shit....should have expanded more on tha story though

nok'd- rhyme scheme: 7, flow: 7, story: 7.5, total: 21.5

yours was solid and i lyked tha way you expanded on it, but tha flow and tha mistypes through me off

really close battle, i'm goin tha opposite way
my vote goes to high class

good battle, may tha best man win, stay real, peace, 1

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<center> Soft Focus</center>

"I'm stuck with...what i'm Stuck Wit, cause i don't Suck Dick" - Jadakiss

I felt high clas tried to use too much vocab...
*Remember sometimes less can be more
Your verse was ok..not sure bout the concept

Nok...i really wasnt feeling it
The off flow and typo's didnt help
and not very creative w/ it at all

V. High for an overall more rounded verse