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| Phenom | Kingz | Dabatos | TonySelf | Tha Q | Half Breed | Tito | 7th End | RV Radio  |
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08-01-04, 02:00 AM
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#1
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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Goin' Crazy *Sneak Preview of my first song*
IP:
My life's been steadily gettin worse for four years
I've faced my worst fears, shed my share of tears Lost a close friend to a crazy, deranged father Failed at everything i've ever attempted, so why bother Everyone I've ever known has caused me some kind of pain Because of all you motha fuckers, my sanitys been slain Goin' crazy, fire blazin in my eyes, all my brain cells have been fried It's amazing how all these thoughts in my brain surge through my veins It's fuckin drivin me insane and all of you sadistic bitches are to blame *That's all i've got done right now...give me some feedback with a little touch of criticism, thanks ya* |
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08-01-04, 02:39 AM
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#2
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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IP:
Bumpin, come on give me feedback god damnit.......
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08-01-04, 07:20 AM
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#3
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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IP:
bumpin, someone give me feedback damnit! Thanks...
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08-01-04, 08:57 AM
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#4
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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IP:
bumpin...will someone please give me some god damn feedback..christ
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08-01-04, 09:24 AM
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#5
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...tha princess of rv...
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IP:
ok.
i liked the first verse ...........it was heart felt,nice flow with a gud structure, sounds like a decent song so far. oh..i dnt think the top line below rhymes with anythin?... the bottom 2 seem to be the rhymin lines. hmmm.i like it. i wud suggest uppin the vocab..wit sum more complex wording if poss. but overall its lookin gud... nice spit Goin' crazy, fire blazin in my eyes, all my brain cells have been fried It's amazing how all these thoughts in my brain surge through my veins It's fuckin drivin me insane and all of you sadistic bitches are to blame
__________________
. MaNiPuLaTiOn .ToPiCaL GeNiUs
free agent |
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08-03-04, 07:48 AM
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#6
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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IP:
Bumpin, lets get some feedback, ill return the favor on your open mic or vote on a battle, thanks
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08-03-04, 09:05 AM
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#7
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Banned: Cheating
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IP:
structure was off and use betta vocab
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08-03-04, 10:09 AM
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#8
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©Lyrical Masterpiece©
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IP:
Structure was off? The first 4 lines was close...the other 3 was close, thats how it was meant to be, dumbass
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08-05-04, 03:46 AM
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#9
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<<NaMe ReTiReD>>
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IP:
yo jus,srry took so long for feedback bro..i liked it..felt what ya were sayin,it could've been a lil more complex..since the issue was serious and all..overall koo drop..keep it up dawg..don't sweat the haters...
maybe you could hit this up 4 mehttp://community.rapverse.com/showbattlethread.php?t=139794 flex battle http://community.rapverse.com/showb...ad.php?t=139167 topical:200 posts |
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08-05-04, 09:34 AM
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#10
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fuck da hataz B.A.M 4 life
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IP:
i felt ya on da drop u did good fuck virtue bitch ass dat wigga always tlkn shit bout peeps shit keep doin ya thing peep my new callabo wit emerginmc07 on here holla back peace out 1 luv
__________________
 VOTE IN THESE SLEPT ON BATTLES N ILL RETURN DA FAVOR WIT HONEST VOTES |
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08-05-04, 09:37 AM
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#11
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$Thug Life$
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IP:
first song and it sucks doesnt feel good huh
__________________
OutLawz
*(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
«´¨`·..* G_$peed *..·´¨`» *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*   _____________________
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